Wishing for a Safe Haven

I love this photo of Kenzie with her cousin James from this summer!  My kids absolutely adore their cousins, and I feel so blessed that my children and so loved by all of their cousins.  They truly are amazing amazing group of young people.

Jeral and I have been talking lately about how blessed we are and how at times we long to just have a "normal" life.  We constantly have people coming and going from our home.  We are constantly consulting with others as to what is the best path for us to take as a family.  I know that many people thrive off of that and would love to have the "extra" help and input.  We are just in a place of input over load.  If money was no object and if we would not miss our families so much I think we would pack up and buy a tiny deserted island to live out the rest of our days as a family.  It would be our haven from constantly being asked to justify every decision we make.  I know that to some who live in countries where the government does not help with funding for the treatment of children with autism I may sound ungrateful.  That is not my intent.  I know how fortunate we are to be able to provide the therapies that my son needs - I also know first hand that the funding we get does not cover it all - we are paying for some of his therapies personally.  I guess I am grieving the life I had thought we would have when we had children and how drastically things have changed this year.

I decided that I was going to start attending the Bible Study at our church again, and then I decided I am not going too.  While I know many LOVE doing Beth Moore Studies, and I am sure she is a lovely person there is something about her that drives me bonkers.  While I do crave connecting with other women (in a setting that does not revolve around my  children, and is less anxiety producing) I realized ladies Bible Study is not where I am at and I am totally okay with that.

One more rant for the day.  There has been an article making it way around Facebook, about Jenny McCarthy Being Dangerous.  While I may not agree with everything that she had said in regards to vaccinations being the cause of Autism, and that the Gluten and Dairy Free diet is a cure for Autism etc., I am very tired of people picking on her.  I think that we are forgetting that she is a mother, and as a mother when your child is diagnosed with a disorder such as Autism you will turn over every stone and look behind every corner to find help for your child and to find answers.  There is no rhyme or reason as to why some children like my son are born with their brain pathways wired different than the rest of typical society.  It is a mystery that I hope and pray will be solved in my life time and that we will be able to help children like Jaris and so many others to a greater extent.  Instead of picking on her and borderline bullying her, try to remember that she is just a mom who wants to help her child.  Instead of judging, and offering sympathy, try empathy!  As a mother of a child who has Autism, I know first had the blessings my son is, and I know how I would give everything including my own life to help him make sense of this world that he lives in.  One that does not make sense to him all the time.  I know the research behind vaccinations and that for the most part science says there is no link between vaccinations and autism.  We tried the gluten free and dairy free diet and it was a bust for us.  I also know that I am curios and educated enough to research the latest fads/therapies for Autism, and that I so long to know why Jaris has to face this struggle.  So because of that I have grace and compassion for a woman who happens to be a celebrity, and who also is a mom.


Oh and just to note we did not put Hayden in the dryer, he climbed in himself.  Apparently he thinks it is the best place ever!

Playing Catch Up

Wow it is hard to believe that i have not posted anything since H's birthday.  I have started many posts and just have never finished them.  Yesterday we meet up with our friends and photographers Heather and Bernie at Davison Orchards for a mini photo shoot at the pumpkin patch.  I sure am blessed to have the family that I have.

So life lately has been busy!!!!!!!!!  Busy feels like an understatement.  I do not want to think how crazy busy we will be once the kids start extra-curricular activities.  I feel as though we are going full tilt already.  

Kenzie is loving preschool and thriving there!  She loves her teachers and tells them every school day how much she missed them.  I love the little crafts she brings home every from preschool and I love that she is so social.  The only time she does not want to go to preschool is when Jaris' OT comes to the house to play once a month.  Kenzie loves playing with her.  Kenzie is definitely not a baby any more.  She says that cutest and sometime most precocious things.  Lately she has been asking to have lots of mommy/daughter dates, and has decided she love Chinese food!  So I am frequently asked to take her to the mall so we can have lunch there!  I can hardly believe that in just over 2 months my little girl will be 4 years old.  We are reminding Kenzie that once she turns 4 we will be moving her back to her bedroom for night time.  While she loves being a big girl when it comes to sleeping she insists that she needs to cuddle with mommy all night long.  I do love snuggles, and I am also ready to have my space at night back!

Jaris is having a tough time emotionally with his school.  He is whipping through things at a fast rate so we know he is capable of completing the tasks set out before him.  He just fights with us in the mornings before session.  Normally I can hold him and his huge puppy dog on my lap and gently remind him that mommy needs to leave soon, and i can go.  However we had some really rough days that broke my heart.  I am thankful that after a talking with the supervisors we sorted some things out.  Unfortunately the agency and I did not get off to a good start when I was told by one of the BC's that Jaris needed to learn that when he cries no one will come to his rescue.  Fortunately I was able to talk things through with the supervisor and the BC apologized and they are willing to incorporate family time into Jaris' sessions.  While things got off to a rocky start, we are seeing Jaris grow and blossom.  I still have to bribe him to say,"I love mommy!"  Yet he is saying it now, which is something I never thought I would hear come out of his mouth.

Hayden affectionately called H at home is not a little baby anymore.  He is starting to walk, yet only when he wants to.  if we try to get him to walk he promptly sits down and crawls.  He loves all things soft and snuggly, and frequently goes after his sisters blanket while she sits all wrapped up in it.  We took the gate off the stairs a while ago because he is an expert climber!  He crawls up and to go down he lays on his tummy and gives himself a big push to slide down.  He is very fast! The only slightly scary part is when he decides to show off and stands on the edge of a stair while screeching in delight!  H has 14 teeth with 2 more cutting, so no wonder my amazing sleeper has decided to stop sleeping through the night!  He had another hearing test in September and he passed it with flying colors.  I am hoping that he is just going to be a slow talker.  So we will keep an eye on him.  I love that H still will snuggle before bedtime. Actually all three of our children snuggle with us and I feel very blessed that they do.

Jeral is doing well.  I am so blessed that he is so involved in the life of our children, and that he is so helpful.  I am truly fortunate and our children are lucky to have their daddy so involved in their lives.

Well this is our life!  Hopefully I won't go 2 months until I blog again.