Our shattered dreams are never random. They are always a piece in a larger puzzle, a chapter in a larger story.

Larry Crabb

Sunday, November 28, 2010

8 Months

Wow Jaris was 8 months yesterday! And what a day it was for him. Jaris got to hang out with all the members of our extended family at the big family Christmas party. My little boy is growing up so fast. I love all the cuddles and snuggles that he gives. I love how excited he gets when he is in the jolly jumper. I love how he and Kenzie interact. He loves smiling at his sister! He loves his food. I am truly blessed that he is such a good eater. I never have to worry that he will not eat his food. I am stoked that we have a bunch of turkey left overs so I blend up some turkey and start putting it in his yam, spinach, carrots, and green bean mix. I also love listening to him talk to himself and giggle with glee in the middle of the night. The rare night now that he joins us in our bed are some of my favorite nights! I love listening to him as he lays between us and we are trying to fall asleep. I love the rolling over and snuggling in with me. I think it is so funny that while daddy is in bed too, both Jaris and Kenzie seem to know where mommy is and roll to snuggle in with mommy! Yep I am special, and I love being the snuggler with my babes!

A couple of weeks ago we had Jaris' development tested and his did so great. He used to be really below the rest of his age group and he has done a great job at catching up and now is in the middle of the pack. I am so proud if him for that, because the reality is that while we spend time doing physio (baby physio is really playing) with him, Jaris does all the work.

This week I started just laying the baby mum mums on his high chair tray and because they are big enough to grab he grabs then and then chomps down on them. I love that he is starting to eat some finger food. Small things are still hard to grab yet that is okay one small step at a time.

I will post pictures in a few days when I have more time and am not so tired! Until we hope everyone is enjoying life!

Sunday, November 21, 2010

11 Months!


This is Kenzie with one of her favorite guys to hangout with while we are in Abbotsford! They where at first just looking out the door, however then they started practicing kissing the door! I guess they are just trying to get it down before they have their first kiss!!!!!

I just got home from my trip to Abbotsford to see Marie and meet her little baby girl Joelle! I was so happy that the weather and roads did not ruin the trip. I have so missed seeing Marie and yet this is also the stage of life that we are both in. Children change life, and I gladly give up the every other week trips to hold my babes and to get to wath them grow up. And yet we are blessed that we do get to see eachother and our babes. I loved how thie weekend trip with my daughter Kenzie was also the 1 year anniversary the phone call from the adoption agency telling us that a birth mom wanted to meet with us. So last year today as I was driving home from Abbotsford I was hoping and praying and dreaming that Jeral would say yes. Today a year later I had my little miralce 11 month old in the van with me. Yep the tears of joy were flowing as I drove home.

Today MacKenzie is 11 months old. Seriouslly where does time go. It feels like it was only a few short weeks ago that she was placed in our arms and our heart grew 100 times over with love for her, and now I am planning her 1 year Birthday party! She truly is her name - while we were visiting with our friend in Abbotsford, I realized she had a rather high temperature due to teething, and yet the whole time she would smile, try to laugh and then grab her cheeks and fuss a little bit and then do it all over again. It was so adorable. Definately made for long nights and lots of cuddles and then pushes away and then cuddles until she finally fell asleep in my arms!

11 months has gone by way to quickly - most days feel like a blur thus I keep this blog to have a record of some of the things both my little miracles do. I know the next 11 months will go by like crazy also, and then I will blink and she will be in highschool, or moving off to college. So here is hoping I can slow down time to cherish and enjoy every moment with my baby girl and her baby brother!

Friday, November 19, 2010

Praying for SAFE travels. It has been a while since I have done this trip in the snow and never with a little babe, so a slow driving we will go! Here is to seeing Marie and Joelle, and a few others too! I sure do miss my Abbotsford friends, and a few others too!

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Growing up To Fast

Jaris trying to drink from a cup. He has trouble grabbing little things, however big things not a problem!

Kenzie drinking from her cup! I was curious to see how big of a mess they would make and to my surprise the mess was not that big!

Isn't he cute! I love his smile!



Jaris showing off his new skills reaching forward and grabbing one of his favorite toys! After he grabbed it he sat back up!


I love her smile and her laugh. She is so full of joy. I guess that adds to one of the many reason why we gave her the middle name.


I love my little girl!


Here is my son sitting up all by himself. He is getting stronger and strong everyday!


Kenzie decided to help me fold laundry today and she ended up wearing it! It is a good thing that I have a sense of humor and can laugh about my daughter wearing my under clothes!


Wow it has been a week since my last post! What can I say other than life is busy, and only getting busier as we get closer to Christmas! So to catch up on the last week and look a head a bit this is going to be a long post!



We had Jaris' developmental assessment last week and he is doing so good! When we first started seeing them 3 months ago Jaris was not even on the charts for the things that he could do for his age and now he has caught up nicely and is smack dab in the middle of the chart for his age group! Way to go my son! I am so proud of you!!!! (I am writing this way just incase one day Jaris and Kenzie read this blog!). They felt that we could stop seeing them, however I asked for another 6 months of follow up just to make sure that we stay on track. Plus the extra support is always nice. We also saw the pediatrician today and Jaris' body is finally catching up to his head. As his he gets longer, and gains more weight everything is looking more and mo9re appropriate, and now his head measures the 105th - 110th percentile. It is coming down from the 130th percentile!!!!! There is still no reason to explain why his head growth rocketed off the charts when he was born, however as of now that does not seem important.


It is hard to believe that Kenzie's first birthday is just over a month away! My little girl is growing up so very fast.The other day I caught her trying to climb over the barrier to get a the Christmas tree in the living room and when I said "Kenzie, stop! No we leave the tree alone. Come to mommy." I motioned with my hand to come to me. Well she smiled her amazing contagious smile and then put her hand up in the air and motioned for me to come to her. I burst out into full belly laughter. Oh the joys of my babes being developmentally appropriate!!!! Kenzie has also figured out how to get down stairs backwards. We have two stairs from our living room into the toy room. Normally Kenzie sits there and fusses until I pick her up and put her in the room. I had tried to teach her to go backwards, yet for some reason she was not interested, at least not while mommy was looking. However when I was not looking she just started going back and forth between the two rooms. I love how proud she is of herself when she does it! I have smart kids! We still have the gate up on the main stair because trying to get down 14 stairs is different than 2 stairs.



Funny thing is that is was this coming weekend a year ago that we found out that we were going to be adopting MacKenzie. I was down in Abbotsford and it turned out that instead of making two more trips like I had planned, due to the roads it was decided that it was my last trip. I was going to be at a silent retreat after I finished up with everything else I normally did during my trips. During the retreat I got a phone call telling us about a brith mom who had picked us, and that she wanted to meet with us the following week. AHHHHHHH! I emailed Jeral and told him what was going on and that I would pray about it and asked him to pray too. I remember being in the shower and just wanting God to say yes or no and make the decision for us. However that was not the case. God kept saying over and over that we had a choice to make. Well I know I can say for both Jeral and I that adopting MacKenzie is a choice we will never regret! And now a year later MacKenzie and I are going to take a trip to Abbotsford to hang out with Marie and Joelle. I can hardly wait, that is as long as the roads are good.


Both Kenzie and Jaris are sleeping much better at night. We are so thankful for that. Seriously sleep makes the world a better place, and a more sane place. So much so that we are thinking we wamt more kids. Not yet. I have weight to loose and my sinus issues have to get figured out, and then maybe just maybe there will be more Krahn Babies, one way or another!


In a week and a half we are hosting the big Pauls' family Christmas at our house! So much to do and so little time, however it will be fun! Well that is it for now! Hope you all enjoyed the pictures!

Tuesday, November 9, 2010


I love this little boy so very much! He is up and was rather cranky. So I brought him into my personal room and snuggled him in his chair with a blankie and he now seems to be content just chilling out as long as mommy in with him. I am so blessed to be his mommy!
Tomorrow we have his developmental assessment. It will be interesting and good to see and hear what the developmental ladies have to say. I am astounded by all the little things he is doing. Normally he is not interested feeding himself. However today when he saw the peas he started going crazy trying to get them. They were a little too small for him to grab and get in his mouth and anything bigger he could choke, however in time I am sure he will be just like his sister and eventually I think they will be having food fights. He is also grabbing his soother and getting it in his mouth.
Kenzie is a fireball. Today I caught her looking at me to see if I was paying attention, and then she bolted for the open gate, and then started laughing when I got up and called her name as I ran after her. She knows that if I am playing with Jaris she has an opening to go places we try to keep her out of. And I love that about her. I still cannot believe how fast she is growing up.
Jeral is busy working on his uncle's car these days, and if I am honest I am not fan of how much this takes him away from us. I am looking forward to it being done. However tonight it is not the car he is working on, instead he is working on our mud/laundry room. We are painting it, putting in new linoleum, a new sink, and I get a new washer and dryer! They are red!!!!!!!!!!! And front loading!!!!!!!!!!!! I have been praying and hoping they would breakdown, or that the washer would start leaking, however now I don't need that to happen anymore!
Me well other than being a mommy nothing else takes priority, and with that I need to go read a few pages out of a very good book and then go to bed!

Saturday, November 6, 2010

It's A Process


"The process of becoming the person God wants us
to become usually doesn't come
from success, success, success.
It's loss, success, failure, success,
heartbreak, success, disappointment, success."

(erwin mcmanus)



I took some time to read a friends blog tonight and saw this and thought it was a great reminder of a truth. A truth all to often I fail to see. Knowing this truth does not make the loss, the failure, the heartbreak, or the disappointment any less traumatic, however knowing this truth gives me the courage to get back up when I have failed, even though sometimes the getting back up is not right away, it takes time.

Out side of kids stuff and the occasional theological tantrum/rant since the kids have been born I have tried to stay away from me and how I am doing outside of life with my babes. In part because that is personal and there are people who read that blog that normally I would not share personal stuff with, or the person who would have heard it all once upon a time also reads the blog we did name our amazing daughter after her after all. This way she can watch Kenzie grow up. So I have the two extremes and for that reason it has been safer to stick to kid stuff and how Jeral and I are finding parenthood.

So here is my confession. I have a great life. I have two beautiful and amazing children who I absolutely love and adore. I have a husband who I love so very much and I know loves me despite all my flaws. I have a home, and financial security. I have Jesus walking with me every step of the way. I have almost everything I ever dreamed of having in my grown up life. Yet I have failed miserably with loosing weight and keeping it off. Twice in my life I have lost a significant amount of weight only to put it all back on. The first time more than I lost, this time I have put 50 of the 70 pounds back on. I didn't even weigh this much when I was pregnant. I think one hard part is that in the beginning stages of my pregnancy I was speaking at church one Sunday and I talked about my food addiction and how I was finally turning to God to help me over come it and now I have fallen flat on my ass for all to see.

Yet as I type this I know that becoming the person God wants and desires for me to be may not mean me being skinny (I can wish though!). Becoming who God intended for me to be has more to do with my heart and my soul, the inside stuff. Can I look in a mirror and say I love every curve? Can I look in the mirror and accept myself exactly as I am? Do I want to be a "healthy"weight? Yeah of course I do. That is why I worked my ass off at the cost of my hip before I got pregnant, however more than that I want to be able to look in the mirror and honestly say I love my curves, I love who I am as I am no strings attached. So if it means being the most curvy on either side of the family, and of my friends to get to this place of self acceptance than okay. Plus another truth is that my family and friends don't love and like me for my weight, they love me just because I am a part of their lives. Will I work on getting to a healthy weight? Yeah I will because I want to be around a long time for my babes. Someone has to teach them to how to saran wrap a toilet seat, or to put shaving cream in daddy's hand and then tickle his nose while he is sleeping. However the journey is not about all that, it is about learning to accept me as I am and to be okay with it. I think it is going to be a long journey, yet worth it in the end.

So there you have it. I have a blessed life, and yet even those who appear to have it all still have their struggles and their yuck days!

Thursday, November 4, 2010

These Days!

I absolutely love this little girl! I love how messy she gets when she eats. Yes I have to breathe a bit and remember that having kids means at times that there are messes, because if I had my way I would be feeding her every bite and wiping her face anytime it gets slightly messy. However instead she gets the freedom to eat, have fun and make a mess, while mommy breathes! She is so cute!


Night times with the babes are getting a little better. Jeral now gets up with Jaris since he only gets up normally once in the night, and I get the honor of hanging out with Kenzie at night. Most nights I am so tired that she comes to bed by the time she is up for the 2nd, or 3rd time. Kenzie has such a typical teenager attitude when I try to wake her up in the morning if she has slept past 9am. This morning she growled at me and then snuggled in to fall asleep again!
Jaris is sitting up well on his own with the aid of a breast feeding pillow and when a toy is out of reach he rolls to wherever it is to get it. Yesterday while he was rolling he got his legs stuck under the ottoman, the couch, the chair, and the entertainment unit! He is moving our son and we are so proud of him. He will soon have his two top teeth down, poor little guy. I am so glad as adults we do not remember how painful it was to teeth as babes!


So three weeks ago one of my closest and dearest friends had her second child, a little baby girl and I have been waiting and so wanting to see them both, so since Jeral got to go on two motor cycle trips in one week back in September, I am taking Kenzie on a mother daughter road trip in two weeks to Abbotsford for the weekend! Daddy and Jar-Bear are having a father/son weekend here at home. Should be interesting to see how we all do. I have a feeling that being separated from Jaris will be so very hard for me, and the same for Jeral being separated from Kenzie. However we are going to try it and see how we all fare, plus I get to see Marie and Joelle so that will make for a great trip. And I have heard that the Gardom Lake Gang that is down there is getting together on the Sunday so yeah for great timing.


Well that is all for today it is time to feed my babes lunch and then off to nap time for them and homework time for me!