The Darkness of Night Makes The Sunrise Stunning

"Sometimes one has to walk through the often complete darkness of grief to embrace the light of joy to be found in challenging circumstances. Feeling that grief does not diminish the joy one feels at the end. In fact embracing the grief enables one to experience the joy more fully. Yet for some they see acknowledgement of the darkness as a detractor from the joy. If only they could understand that the darkness of night makes the sunrise stunning."


I was in a discussion with a woman today about Austism.  I had simply stated that the article we were reading actually caused my blood to boil because in my opinion only someone who does not daily face the challenges of life with a family member on the Autism Spectrum would state that a 1.1% chance of your children developing Austism was an acceptable chance.  This is in regards to the continuing debate of do vaccinations cause Autism.  I am not anti-vaccination.  I was struggling with what I felt was the arrogance and ignorance with which the author was writing the article.  As the conversation via Faceboook continued the woman I was conversing with said if there was no one with Autism the world we live in would not be as beautiful.  That is when I wrote the above quote.  While I agree that my son and others whom I have been blessed with the honour of working with are truly amazing and beautiful, I also felt as though I was trapped by the comment.  How could I be open and transparent about the grief I feel?  My son is an amazing little boy.  He astounds me every day.  Yet I had to grieve the son I thought we were going to have, the dreams I had dreamed for him, so I could embrace the new dreams and all the joys that come with parenting a child with a disability.  Only in facing the grief could I open my heart to all the joys and blessings God has for our family and our son.  My children each in their own way are my greatest teachers.  Yes I have grieved, and grief is not a one day process.  I so wish it were somedays.  However there are moments like today when the grief appears, when the darkness encloses around me. Yet I have hope that just as the night falls, so to the sun will rise.  Trust me the beauty of the sunrise is stunning, and so is the joy that accompanies each new sunrise in the ebb and flow of grief.