Not Questioning Love

So I recently had a conversation with God, like as in today about love. I am realizing that I am just beginning to understand just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to God's love. In an attempt to keep this short I will dive right into the main idea behind the talk with Jesus. It really for me boiled down to how often do I question Gods' love for me? I do it rather often, especially if things are difficult and messy in life. The best thing about today was that I realized no matter how often I question Jesus' love for me, He never ever begins to question Himself as to whether or not He loves me. Just as Jesus IS, so is His love for me. It just IS. There is no getting around it. If Jesus jumped ever time I questioned His love for me He would have jumped alot, just to prove to me that He does love me. I am beginning to realize that sometimes the loving thing Jesus does is not to jump and fix everything. Instead He is with me in the mess as I work through it.

I know that this translates to my family life and how I love others too. Recently I was at my sister's wedding, and I know there were many times that my love for my sister and mother was questioned by them. So every time they said jump I would jump and when they questioned whether or not I love them I would fell I needed to do something to prove I loved them. Needless to say I failed in their eyes, and well I also know they failed in my eyes too. I have to face the fact that I also question their love and just as I can never prove I love them the way they feel I should by jumping and fixing things. They also cannot prove their love to me in the way I wish they would. So I am beginning to come to a place, of deciding when my love for others is questioned by them, instead of doubting myself and the love I have for them when they question it, I will rest and trust in the love I have, and not question it or try to prove it by jumping! I am not sure if this will make sense to anyone reading this, and yet for me today was a very profound and won wonderful day.

I'll be honest this journey of health, healing, and wholeness is a lot of work that is for sure, and well worth the effort, and tears!

Have a gooder!

Leanne