Grief is a strange thing, and it comes in cycles. However today a new cycle of grief begins.
I was supposed to be driving to Oliver right now to see my grandma probably for the last time. My aunt called last night to tell me that she had about a week to live. I remember calling my mom last night to tell her and I said that it would be more merciful for God to take her now. I never thought though that I would not get to see her.
This morning my aunt called to tell me that grandma had passed away just 30 minutes before she called me.
So this is saying goodbye for me, if she were still alive I would say theses words to her.
Grandma I am sorry that we missed out on a relationship for all those years I was to afraid to come and visit because of dad.
I want you to know that I love you. Always have and always will.
I am going to miss you.
Do you remember how people used to say that I looked just like with my red hair. I would promptly tell them that yours was a dye job and mine was the real thing. Secretly though I liked being told I was like you, because I thought you were so beautiful, and strong, and I wanted to be like that too.
I used to think that you would live forever like all little girls do. Now the end has come and gone. I was supposed to be saying goodbye to you today, instead though you are gone. You slipped away quietly all by yourself. My heart aches because I will never get to see you again, at least not here on earth.
I love you Grandma, and goodbye.
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4 comments:
Leanne, that's too bad that you didn't get to see your Grandma again. While you know it's better, I know it's still hard. I was just in this kind of a situation a few months ago with my uncle dying. I will be praying for you in this time, cuz I know it's hard.
Love you,
Tamara
Sorry your grandma passed away.
We will be in Vernon but for a quick night and a reuniting evening with three guys who were with us this summer. We prob. won't have time. Email me your phone number just in case. If not we are in Abby. We'll have to call and catch up and also just let each other know good times to have coffee in Abby.
Love ya!
Leanne- I'm so sorry for your loss. Many blessings to you and your family in this difficult time.
i'm so sorry sweetie. i wish i could give you a big hug. it's always when we lose someone that we wonder what we could have done differently in the relationship, but the truth is, that person always knew how much we loved them. i find that reassuring. :)
i'll try calling you this week...hopefully we can chat! :) i've missed ya & just want to touch base.
love you.
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