Trying to Build Up Tolerance

So I am trying to build up my tolerance to raw vegetable. I happen to be allergic to raw vegetables. Not something that I would have minded as a child. However now as an adult I most definitely have some problems with this.

I am working hard on loosing weight, and so far I have succeeded. I also know though that the way I eat will cause me to plateau long before I want too, and my inability to eat raw veggies, is getting in the way. It really is a pain in the butt to always have to steam my veggies, and as such if I am lazy and don't want to be bothered with steaming them, then I grab for what ever else is on hand and easy.

Well today is day number one in my experiment to build up my tolerance to raw veggies again. I know that carrots, broccoli, and cauliflower are the worst, so for now I am staying away from those. I am starting off with cucumber and celery. If after a two weeks I can tolerate those well then I will attempt to add raw broccoli into the mix.

I can feel my throat doing something funny. However it is really the chest pains that get to me so if I can avoid those then I think this is a go.

Hopefully this will also help us with the hole pregnancy stuff. I need to eat healthy if I ever get pregnant and a part of that is veggies. I don't know when, or if I will ever get pregnant. I just want to be as healthy as I can be at that moment. I am right now that healthiest I have been in a few years. I still have more to do, however I know that I have already made the choices I need to continue down the road toward health.

Yesterday really prompted this for me. I was having a rough day, and I ate all the crap I could find in our house. I even went out and bought coke to drink. I found out that a lady in our Church is pregnant. Just a few days after I tell my counsellor I finally am getting it that Jesus not letting us get pregnant right away was the best way He could have loved me because I was so not ready to be a mom back then, I still had a lot of healing to do, and I still have more to go, I find out someone else is pregnant. I feel as though this is a test to see if I really meant what I said. The thing is I know it cannot be a test because I know that Jesus knows I meant what I said, when I said it. It feels like every time I come to a place of peace, someone else gets pregnant. I am not expecting that by coming to a place of peace that I will get pregnant, I just wish I did not feel that it is so up in my face.

I try so blasted hard to follow this diet and to exercise all in the hopes of #1- getting pregnant, and #2 - being healthy. I guess I still have the priorities wrong, and I should reverse those two. However that is still where I am at. I am really doing this in the hopes of getting pregnant. Yes even if I do not get pregnant I have every desire and intention to continue to eat right and workout. And yet I want children.

I know that I have given this all over to Jesus, and I know that his plans are best even when they hurt like hell for me. I know I can trust him, and that He is here with me. And I know his love enables me to face the pain, when all I want to do is run.

Okay so those are my ramblings for today. Take care everyone!

Love Leanne