Being 32

Well it official, I am 32 years old. The other day I was thinking that I am now closer to 40 than I am to 20 oiy!

So what did we do - Jeral took me out and got me my new Iphone 4. So excited for that. We aslo went out for dinner and saw a movie and the whole time I wondered how the babes were doing. I have never been gone from both of them for 7 hours so it was a stretch and yet it was nice to be on a date with the man I love and adore.

This past year of my life has been so full of so many experiences.

• I became a mother twice over through different ways, and both equally as beautiful as they were challenging. Kenzie and Jaris are my miracles. The ups and downs of sleep deprivation, just when you think the schedule is all worked out something changes.
• I got to be at the birth of my niece Madalyn - which was an amazing experience.
• I have gotten to see first hand how much joy both my babes bring to not only us, also to others around us.
• Jumped for joy when Kenzie rolled over, crawled, said Mama and new what she was saying, and walked for the first time. Oh and i better not forget all the times she has crawled up on my lap to read a book or just to give me kisses.
• Kenzie's Adoption was finalized, and she also had her first Birthday all in this past year of my life.
• Jaris - we had a big scare when we were not sure why he was so floppy, and then he turned it all around and we have gotten to watch him get stronger, and smile, and talk/babble - starting to crawl the way he does. Sitting up and playing.
• Lost a bunch of weight in one day thanks to giving birth :) Only to then over the next few month put a bunch of weight back on :( I will get it off in time!
• A relationship of approximately 4 years with one therapist ended and a new relationship with another one began.
• Enjoying a summer with babes and going swimming with them. They love to swim.
• Going to Soccer games with the big beast stroller and having everyone fall in love with our babes.
• Getting constantly asked if we have twins and finally coming to a place of just being able to say yes, instead of telling everyone the long, yet amazing story.
• Taking the kids out in the snow on a sled - I think we have years of that a head of us.
• Starting to do chores in the chicken barns again - not sure if I saw that one coming!

There are lots of other experiences that have been amazing and as I look back I think that there are only 2 big regrets.

• Regret number one - not listening to my inner feelings when I felt that we needed to stay home from a family function. Listening and staying home would have been the wise thing to do. I can tell you that will never happen again.
• Regret number 2 - being to afraid to tell someone I care about how much I was really hurt by certain things. Instead I pushed away and said I had said all I needed to say. Oh well such is life and the way it goes. Some things are easier to do than others. Maybe one day I will get to a point where I will be able to say everything or maybe one day I will get to the point where it does not really matter anymore.

So yeah it has been a full year. Mostly in part due to my amazing little babes. I am not sure if I really knew who life altering and busy I would be with two babes at once. However I would say that this last year for 31-32 has been one of the most challenging, heart breaking, and yet joyous and amazing years of my life. So with that I will say I am looking forward to the future!