Our shattered dreams are never random. They are always a piece in a larger puzzle, a chapter in a larger story.

Larry Crabb

Sunday, November 18, 2012

A New Road to Travel

Smiles!  I love  his smiles

I still have no idea where time has gone. Hayden is growing up so very fast!

My three miracles.


Beautiful Boy 

So we met with the pediatrician this last Thursday.  It was a preliminary meeting where we discussed our concerns and the red flags we are seeing with Jaris.  She agreed that there were enough red flags and is referring us for further assessments.  The area of focus will be Autism Spectrum Disorder, and Pervasive Developmental Disorder.  We have asked that they look into Neurological Disorders considering the unknown disability Jeral has.  

So how do I feel knowing that this is the road we are about to journey down?  Not sure!  I hate not knowing and not having a game plan to help our son succeed in life.  Some days I am overwhelmed at the thought of a son with a disability and a husband with one (however that does not change how much I love both of them).  Some days I feel very alone in part because everyone has there opinion of what is going on or not going on, and sometimes I feel that if I challenge those people they will be upset with me.  While I know Jeral is with me on this I also know that in terms of understanding the complexities of what is going on with Jaris,  his brain has not processed all of it, and that can be very lonely.  And I worry (I know the Bible tells us not to worry, yet I am human and do worry), about all the unknowns right now.  

With all of that said though this is the one constant.  My son brings so much joy and love to our family that nothing else really matters in the end.  He is one of the miracles we prayed and literally begged God for many times.  He is one of our three miracle that God blessed us with and I love Jaris more than anything I could ever love in this world.  The day he was born was one of the most amazing days of my life and nothing will ever change that, and nothing will ever change how much I love him!  No diagnosis, no label, nothing will change the miracle he is or the love I have for him.


Lorna-Mae van Kley said...

I so agree with your comment that no diagnosis, no label nothing will change the miracle he is or the love you have for him....
my son is almost 16 and no matter that he has ADHD and Asperger's, nothing will ever take away from the gift he is from God and how much i love him and he loves me....hang onto that as your going through all this.

Trev and Rebekah said...

Thinking of you. I was reminded of the story of Hagar today. Leanne He is EL ROI. He sees you and is with you. Though you feel alone you are not. I would love to try to skype some time so I can pr.y with you. Glad you are getting referred hoping it doesn't take too long for him to get in. Love you