Somthing to Think About!

I have really enjoyed reading Henri Nouwen books as of late. I think what I really enjoy is that he is a man who speaks from the deep and wounded places of his heart. Places where he allowed Jesus to enter and to heal. Last year just before my wedding I bought a book entitled "THE INNER VOICE OF LOVE: A JOURNEY THROUGH ANGUISH TO FREEDOM". I Have have been slowly reading through the little readings, and few nights ago I read the "Take Up Your Cross Reading". Let me just say that it was not your typical take up your cross and carry it pep talk. So here is what Henri Nouwen has to say about "Taking Up Your Cross."

Taking Up Your Cross

Your pain is deep, and it won't just go away. It is also uniquely yours, because it is linked to some of your earliest life experiences.

Your call is to bring that pain home. As long as your wounded part remains foreign to your adult self, your pain will injure you as well as others. Yes, you have to incorporate you pain into your self and let it bear fruit in your heart and the hearts of others.

This is what Jesus means when he asks you to take up your cross. He encourages you to recognize and embrace your suffering and to trust that your way to salvation lies therein. Taking up you cross means, first of all, befriending your wounds and letting them reveal to you your own truth.

There is great pain and suffering in the world. But the pain that is the hardest to bear is your own. Once you have taken up that cross, you will be able to see more clearly the crosses that others have to bear, and you will be able to reveal to them their own ways to joy, peace, and freedom.

As I sit to ponder these words a little more I must admit that I find them hard words to read, because of how closely they hit home for me. How could such deep and horrible wounds have any truth to offer? And there is no truth outside of Jesus Christ. I think this is what is meant. In the deepest wounding's of our heart and childhood Jesus has some very freeing and powerful truths to reveal to us. However our wounds also shout out at us some very big lies that first must be silenced before we can even hear the loving quiet gentle whisper of Jesus' love and truth to us. Also how often do we run from Jesus because we feel our wounding's are so shameful that He could never love us or forgive us. It is only when we can embrace our deep hurts and pain and face them that they no longer force us to run and instead we can run into to the loving arms or Jesus and therein find our freedom and salvation. Only in Jesus!

Bearing our own pain is the hardest. I find it way easier to enter into someone else's pain, and to cry with them, because I know their pain is not my pain and I can leave it behind. I know that sounds so cruel. And yet it is true. I would rather face the pain of my friends than face my own, and yet I know there is truth in saying that we must first face our own to to be able to better help our friends in their times of pain, or to help others who have similar pain.

Case in point, my counsellor, if she would not have chosen to face her pain and wounding's years ago, and continue to choose and embrace those pains, she would not be nearly as effect in helping me to face my pain. Because she has been on my side of the room sitting on the couch sobbing (not that I have sobbed yet, and I know she is waiting for that to happen), and because her pain is similar to mine I don't have to go into the brutal details all the time. She understands, and knowing that makes it much easier and I feel safer in her presence. Seeing where she is today and how healthy she is, helps me to know that one day the pain will not hurt as much, and knowing that she has walked the road before me passes onto me hope. So then it is true that when we are able to embrace and face our pain, that act enables us then to help others in ways we could not otherwise.

I have lots more to say on this and yet I think that I will end here for today. May we all find the strength we need to embrace and carry our crosses (pain and hurt).