Happy Birthday My Son

A year ago I was in labour and soon to give birth to my amazing little boy Jaris Zachery Krahn. I still have a hard time believing that tomorrow he is going to 1 year old. Wow time has gone by so fast. I still remember the day he was born. It is hard not too especially with all the extra things that happened yet the thing I remember the most was how he wanted to just look at me. After I was stabilized, Jaris was placed back on my chest and for the rest of the night he snuggled in and would lift his head a bit just to look and then snuggle back in. He was so tiny, and so fragile. I remember looking at his tiny chest as he was breathing and counting his ribs. He was perfect in every way. This past months have gone by so fast.

So as we celebrate your first year of life my son I want to write down a some memories. For the first two months of his life he refused to sleep anywhere except on my chest, and then after then he nestled in to the crook of my arm. If I put him in the play pen or crib I got less rest so sleeping with mommy it was.

We got the biggest scares of our lives when we Jaris had to undergo some genetic testing. We knew no matter how the tests came back our love for Jaris would not change. I remember crying as we thought about the future we had hoped for with you and how that might all change, yet still knowing that no matter what we loved you and that was a constant. When all the test came back and nothing was wrong I was so relieved, and yet still baffled as to your weak muscles and rather larger head! Despite all the test coming back normal we still had our fears. However then as time went on and we set out goals for you to meet with our help you meet them all a head of schedule. So many firsts in this past year.

First smile, first laugh, first time rolling over, first time commando crawling, first time sitting up on your own, first time crawling, first time pulling your self up to standing, first time sleeping in your own room (I sure did not sleep that night as I was constantly afraid I would not hear you crying), first time furniture walking, first time eating oat cereal, first time eating solid food, first word, which was buba, and then dada, first cold, first tooth. I have treasured every one of them including the first cold because of all the snuggles and cuddles I got. Oh and the first night of many when you were sleeping through the night! I look forward to many more first and whatever else may come in the years to come.

Jaris has this cute way of smiling at someone new when he meets them and then snuggling into me all shy like. I totally do not mind the snuggle in. I love hearing him babble to his sister and his dad in the mornings. I love how he will pick up his food and stuff it into his mouth.

My son is a miracle, and a gift. Never in a million years could i have imagine how this past year was and how amazing it is being Jaris' mom. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday evening as I was bathing the kids and getting ready to go to a coffee shop to work on a "sermon" for a couple of Sundays from now I read one of the phrases I have on a cue card around my bathroom mirror. The card reads "My body is in the process of being healed and will one day fully be healed, I am deserving and worthy of healing." I was struck with what that meant to me back when I wrote that and what it means to me now. Back about 2 and a half years ago maybe 3 (my brain is still foggy some days. The joys of being a mom), for me that meant to me that I would eventually be skinny, my uterus and ovaries would be healed so I could get pregnant, the PCOS I have would be gone and all the other side effects that come with PCOS too. Now I would write it a little different the new card I need to write would read "I am in the process of being healed and will one day fully be healed. I am deserving and worthy of being healed in every way, physically, emotionally, spiritually etc." Healing is more than just a physical body thing. Anyways I will leave that thought there!

Now onto my beautiful babes which I know is the reason most of you read the blog. We have decided to make swimming at the pool in Vernon a weekly event. Today was the first time that Kenzie started to venture away from us a little bit in the kiddie pool. Normally she hangs on to me for dear life afraid that I will leave her there! Jaris gets super excited to be in the big pool with us. today though we saw some floating poop and I can tell you it was not from our kids. Yuck is all I have to say.

Kenzie is into puppies and everything seems to be a puppy even I am a puppy and she woofs at me! It honestly is very cute. We even got her to woof on the phone for Grandma Krahn the other night. She also has a language all her own. Hearing her talk is one of the most adorable things every. It is hard to explain and better to see and hear in person! We also have a tough time keeping her from climbing on everything. The word share is also not in her vocabulary - however I think she will need to learn what "mine" means before she will truly understand what "share" means. We were out getting our passport done yesterday and we kept getting comments about how beautiful our little girl was and what a great personality she has. Probably has to do with the fact that she was waving at everyone and motioning for them to come over with her hand, and then she would talk to them.

Jaris is getting better at furniture walking every day, and he sure loves to stand up and play at the ottoman on on the couch! Getting him to spend more time crawling is getting harder all the time. Jaris eats everything he finds and sees. We cannot leave a book or a magazine laying in an area he can get at because before we know it he has it in his hands and is eating it. He looks at me and smiles when he is eating it too, and when I pick him up and finger sweep his mouth to get it out he looks at me with his baby blues and starts to cry! What a boy! He is teething again so here is hoping his 18 month old molars come in easier than Kenzie's did because that was not fun for her and looked very painful. I am so glad that I do not remember how much that hurt!

I am loving the extra say light that we are getting. It means I can take the kids on walks in the evenings and the grumpy time is a little easier to handle. For some reason once the stroller is moving the grumpies stop! Now if only they were as tired as mommy after wards that would be great!

Well there you have it! Blessings to you all!

Being a mom sometimes is heart wrenching! Kenzie has never liked saying goodbye to people and when she sees them going out the door she ofter follows and has a sad look on her face. Now that Kenzie is walking and running all over the place it is getting hard for me to leave the house on Mondays if she is not taking a nap when I need to go. It is as though she has this instinct that mommy is going somewhere without her and she is not a fan of the idea. For example last week Thursday I needed to go buy a bathing suit so we could take the kids to the public pool on Friday and the plan was I was going by myself as trying clothes on is easier without two little ones with me. However as I was about to leave Kenzie stood at the door crying and well that was all it took for me to pick her up and tell Jeral I was taking her with me. Sometimes I wonder if she is scared that mommy is not coming back and this is how she lets us know that she wants to make sure I am coming back. On the upside when I get home and she hears my voice I always hear her throw down whatever toy she is playing with and then she comes running to find me! I like that!

On a different note, Kenzie is speaking a new word and it is puppies! Well her variation of puppies. Auntie Jodi is the one who figured it out! I am sure in the next weeks and month there will be all sorts of word that we figure out. I love hearing her talk!

Kenzie and Jar Bear

Kenzie attempting to climb up the slide in the toy room. She actually did it once I put the camera/phone down. She gets into everything these days and her brother is not far behind!

Jaris and his smiling face! Sorry about the lighting. The pictures are taken with my Iphone.

We took the kids out for supper the other night and they did really well sitting there as long as they did. Kenzie is growing up so fast and now can drink from a straw. Actually she has been doing that for a few months now.

Jaris filling his cute cheeks with yam fries and bread! His shirt says "My Mom's tattoo's are cooler than yours!" Smart boy my son is to pick up on that!!!

Here he is giving me a look as if to sat what are you doing mom quit with the pictures!

Well life is moving along some days I wish for the days when they wanted to cuddle more and run away from me less!!!! However those days for the most part seem to have slipped by :(

Kenzie the other day was coming down stairs crawling backwards while Jeral watched and I came by the stairs and said her name and she bolted back up the stairs, stood up and ran for our bedroom! She had something in her mouth that she knew I would take out if I caught her so she ran to the room and spit it out right where she found it! What a little turkey! I am so blessed to be her mama!

Naps with Jaris are hit and miss these days which makes me go oiy!!!!! I had really loved them taking naps at the same time. Howver we will get it back on track. The days we go out are the days that things are affected the most. Staying home every day almost is worth it when they nap for 2-3 hours at the same time!

I have lots I want to blog about however the babes are in need of their mama so I guess that will have to wait for now! Enjoy the pictures of my amazing children!