The kids and I went out to play for a bit today while it was chilly they love the great out doors! And I love them!!!

Playing in the leaves! I was hoping to get some great shots of them in the leaves and I got a few. They just were not sure about the whole jumping in the piles.

Future wedding material this one is!

Helping mommy rack I tried racking up some of the back yard and Kenzie got upset so I gave her the rack. Hmm is this considered child labour? All she got paid was a hug, kiss, and a snuggle!

Jeremiah 29:11 - God promises the people of Judah that He knows the plans He has for them. Plans to give them hope and a future. While I know that promise we read is meant for the people of Judah I know that God also knows His plans for me and our family. Yet there are days it is tough to trust and rest in that. Yet here I find myself resting and trusting for today, and today is all I am sure of as yesterday is gone and tomorrow is not assured. I have this moment now.

I was recently told that letting go of our dreams is not abandoning them. Let go is giving them to God and allowing His hope and His dreams for me to be received. It is not a secret that we have faced heartache many times as we dreamed of growing our family, and we have also been blessed with two amazing miracles. This summer brought us great surprise and wonder as we thought our dream of three children was going to be realized and then our grief plummeted to new depths as we had to let go of our little one and entrust her to Jesus long before we ever got to hold her. With each new pregnancy announcement my heart was both happy for my friends and filled with grief as I was once again reminded that I now have two babes with God. Jeral asked me after one announcement if I was jealous and I was able to honestly say no I am just missing my babes. In the days following I came to a place of laying down my desired outcomes for me one desired outcome and hope was that some how everything was wrong and that I would one day soon find out I was still pregnant. Letting go means letting go the idea that I can some how hold on and change the past so I get my desired outcome. Letting go also to me means I relinquish the desired future outcomes I may have. If I am holding on to what I desire I will never be able to grasp a hold of what my Heaven Papa has for me.

I have no idea how the future of our family looks like. All I know is there is a future and that is amazing! So for today I have let go, and who knows what tomorrow holds!

Kenzie's new favorite place to play

My miracles! Never in a million years could I have orchestrated what God did and despite the hurt look how things have turned out so far! I love you two more than I can ever put into words.