The Two men in my life! I am such a loved woman with these guys around, and my daughter too!

I started this post last week and am now finally finishing it. Oh well I blog when I can and that is that. We are in full swing with Christmas decorating around here. I have 6 Christmas trees up in the house, and to think I actually had the gall to tell my mom I was not going to decorate as much this year. Hmm i think the next time I say that to anyone they can feel free to call me a liar. I love making my house all pretty! Wow did I just write those words? Yep sure did. I enjoy the artistic side of decorating and the sense of accomplishment and from seeing the beauty I create. Plus I want everything up for our big extended family Christmas on my side. Looks like 44 maybe 45 people this year, and a whole lot of fun.

A few weeks back I made a comment on facebook about my kids and a friend said she wished her outlook on having multiple toddlers was as positive. The comment got me thinking, and I responded to her saying that she only sees the positive outlook because that is all I will write on facebook. The reality is I am like every mom I know. I have my good moments, and I have my rough moments. I get overwhelmed, I get cranky, and I want to rip my hair out. I have moments when I am less than the kind of mom I desire to be. I remember the day that I had to finally surrender to the reality that being a mom, let a lone being a mom to 2 miracles just over three months a part was not looking how I had envisioned it nor would it really ever be that way. I had envisioned that my kids would never cry, not because it is bad to cry, it would be because I would always be there to hold and comfort them. I would be attuned to their every need and meet it before they even knew they had a need. Yeah slightly over idealistic huh?!?! I also realized there is a reason the baby carrier companies do not make double baby carriers. My back could not handle two all day every day. I came to a place of saying it is okay to want my kids to some nights sleep in their own bed. At the end of the day I am in need of my space and sometimes the only me time I get is in bed when I am sleeping. Wanting that does not make me a bad mom, it makes me human. The reality is I am human and will have my not so terrific mommy days, yet those days will be good enough. There is my thought for today! I have a book I want to go read!