Mother's Day

Jeral and the kids are outside playing while the soup is simmering on the stove so I thought I would take a moment to write a Mother's day post.

As I sat in church today I took time to be grateful and appreciate that today I am in a very different place than I was back in 2009 on this day.  I said thanks for the miracles I get to hold and love everyday in Kenzie and Jaris.  I asked God to hold close Hope and Annabelle and to tell them I love them, and last yet not least I said thanks to God for the miracle of my son growing inside of me.

Through out the whole service I sat most of the time pondering what today holds for many women.  Many times tears welled up in my eyes as my heart ached for those who long for children. I thought about how I used to sit at the back of the church and fight the overwhelming feeling to sob because I was afraid of what others would think, and in reality today there were most likely many women around the world feeling the same way I used too.

I thought about those who have lost children and how they may ache to get to hold them one last time, and yet again tears welled up in my eyes.  I thought about my two precious angles with God, and how I miss them many days, and while I am so thankful and happy to have Hayden growing inside of me right now, he is not meant to be a replacement.  I have had many conversations with my friend whose son went to be with Jesus at 2 and half years of age and how holidays and special days of celebration just will never be the same and how hard it is when people say have a great day.

I thought about my own mom, and what a fantastic Grandma she is and how lucky my kids are to have her as their Gramba (as Kenzie calls her).  I thought about my mother in law and also how much she loves my kids and how much they love her!

I thought about the three women who have been my spiritual mother's over the years, and how they have no idea how they have shaped and molded the kind of mother I desire to be and have become.  Sherry, Joan, and Joy (yes Joy you are included in this list, maybe one day I will get to explain it all to you face to face, and if not there is always heaven, however then words will not be needed).

I believe this is where I will leave this post for today.  May today be the best day it can be for all of you.  I know it is for me and my wonderful miracle of a family!