Broken Hearted

Jaris gently giving water to Blackie. We are working on being gentle all the way around. The kids need to learn to be gentle and Blackie needs to learn to be gentle too!

Just relaxing one afternoon. Jeral took a break to watch the kids so I could quickly do something and when I came outside this is what I sort of saw!  They were all laying on the ground snuggled with Blackie.

Just chilling under the gazebo

Early morning snuggles with two of three miracles!  Being a mom is the best job in the world. 

It seems that the past few weeks have finally caught up to me emotionally. Saturday was my breaking point. The last time I honestly cried like that was almost three years ago.  I was blessed though by my husband who when I told him I needed to just get away and journal he said to go!  That evening I began to understand why not just writing, but also saying things aloud is important.  While writing in my journal I got a little tears eyed, yet it was not until later when I spoke some thing aloud that the damn broke and the release my body, mind, and soul had been craving finally happened. 

We are on a steep learning curve right now and I have days I feel alone and lost. Yet I know this too will pass.  This is a season. 

About a week ago I was reminded of a scene in Lord of the Rings. The Ents go to battle and theropod gates are opened wide. Everything caught in the path of the enormous rushing water gets swept away. Yet the Ents who have enough time to dig their roots down deep into the ground do not get swept away. They are able to stand against the rushing waters. They still feel the pressure of the water pushing past them, trying to sweep them away. They even have to put their "heads own and push against the rushing water at times. Yet because they are rooted they are not swept away. For us, for me staying rooted is digging down deep into the love of Jesus.