Can't Sleep

Okay so I have a feeling that I am in for one of those long nights. Oh wait that is how they nights have been for the past little while. Ever since I started taking those dang fertility drugs. Don't get me wrong if they work then the sleepless nights of insomnia will have been worth it. However at this point there is more frustration than anything else.

Do you ever have moments or days where you want to scream, "Okay God whatever it is you are trying to teach me, make it quick so this phase of life can be over with and I can move on." Whatever I am being taught through the sleepless or restless night, and whatever lesson I am to learn through this journey of infertility I just want to understand it or get it. I have struggled with sleep since I was 17. That means for the last 11, almost 12 years of my life I have not slept properly. Sleeping pills don't work, I tried them once upon a time, and yeah my body adjusts to quickly and the dose had to be increased every two weeks. Not fun. So out goes the idea of medication and the truth be known medicated sleeps are not as good as the real thing.

I know that there are times when God will wake someone up to pray for someone else, so maybe I need to pray for both my friends Jeneah and Carla who are over due and just wish their babies would come. Maybe a missionary friend of mine is really struggling and needs me to pray. Only God really knows. And then there are the times when God finally has me still enough to get my attention because during the waking hours I am to busy trying to avoid the things He wants to do and heal in my life because it could mean some uncomfort for me. Maybe the whole point is to learn how to rest in Jesus even if my body and mind are not physically at rest. Who knows, but God.

I think this is enough of my ramblings for tonight, and as I say that I begin to get tired, so maybe I will get to bed before 1am.