Change of Perspective

So two posts in one day. I must be on a role. Or I must have had something important come to my attention.

I was out for coffee with a friend today. Even though I would say we are friends and I count myself luck to say that Shelley is my friend, this is the first time we have ever gone out for coffee. As we were talking about why it has taken so long for us to do this I realized that so often my perspective often gets in the way of getting to know people. For instance with Shelley who in my opinion is a drop dead gorgeous woman I used to think for sure that she was too beautiful to ever want to be my friend. I have a bit of a complex here and I am working on it. Then I found out today that Shelley used to look at me and think about how full of life I was and then want to be like me. So crazy, because I would think really if you only knew me you would want to be nothing like me. Sometimes we have such a distorted perspective of ourselves.

The same thing happened with my best friend. Back in the day when I still went by my nick name RED we met at camp. I looked at Marie and saw a beautiful young woman who was so full of life and she honestly radiates beauty, and the more I get to know her the more beautiful she is to me. Well as the years went on we talked one day about how we were the most unlikely pair to be friends, and that when we first meet we both thought that the other would never want to be friends with the other. If Marie and I in some ways would not have been forced to be roommates I am not sure if we would have become friends. Thinking about that now I am a little sad, because I would have missed out on one of the richest and most wonderful friendships, all because of our messed up perspectives.

How many friendships have I missed out on simply because I thought that they other person would never want to be my friend, or that I would have nothing to offer to the friendship. Oh the insecurities and the lies the enemy likes to whisper in our ears. I am beginning to think it is about time that this stops. I have no intention of letting anymore wonderful and rewarding friendship slip away all because I am to caught up in my insecurities. Now I hope I have to gumption to live out what I just said! Lord give me the strength!

Okay so here I am about to go on a little rant. Serioulsy I really think it is not just time for me, also other women too. It is time to stop thinking I am too fat, to ugly, not filled with enough life, not talented enough etc. These are the lies the enemy whisper's in my ear and I am sure from talking with others that for them the lies they here are similar. Ahhhhhh, it really pisses me off (am I allowed to write that on this blog?). What make me even sicker is thinking back to my days in Bible College and I realize that I most likely missed out on some amaing friendships all because I was terrifed that I would not be good enough. However I must say that I know God is bigger than all of that, and he is so mind blowing with the way He brings about friendships with people from thoses days, and let me say right here that I am totally blessed by the amazing friendship that have been developing.

Lord I am in awe and very grateful. May you give all of us in this messed up world to put aside our fears and our worries so we can step into to riches of the friendships you so desire for us to have. After all Jesus you created us for community, not aloneness. Thanks Jesus!!!;)