I am a food addict. I use food to stuff my feelings or to cope with tough times. I chose a socially acceptable addiction in Christian circles. As a Christian if I would have chosen alcohol, drugs, sex, gambling, smoking I would have early in life been labelled as a problem child. So I chose food, and I choose the direction that meant I gained weight. My little sister chose to to restrict her food intake and I choose to go all out!
About 10 months ago I began to embark on a journey of getting physically healthy. I have been working on the emotional, mental, and spiritual aspect for the past 2 and a half years. The journey to get healthy started off easy, however as time has gone on continuing to choose to be healthy has been very difficult. When food is how one copes, and finds comfort giving that up can be very hard. It is very hard. Some days I just want a big bag of Miss Vicki's Sea Salt and Vinegar Chips and a big bottle of coke! And to be honest there are days that what I want wins out over what I know is best for me. My last post was about how I was going to stay away from Coke and sugar, or at least try. Try I did and that lasted about a week, before I caved. So to compensate for my food addiction I feel the need to over exercise, and God called me on it today. I think the warning sign should have been when I could barely walk on Monday from the pain in my hips from pushing it too much! I did take yesterday off and today only ran half the distance I have been running!
Balance is that I need to find, and I need to find healthy ways to calm my self instead of food. Oiy! All in process and all takes time.
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2 comments:
Oh Leanne, we should chat again soon. I love you. I glad you are open to hearing the H.S in your life and the words he tells you. I was concerned a bit with your over-exercising and yet I am proud of you too for taking care of yourself and striving towards that. I need balance too my friend. Wish you lived closer and we could be cheerleaders for each other on our journey to find health, healing and wholeness.
You chose food. I don't know if I chose mine or if it's a byproduct of the home I grew up in (we always blame everything on our parents, right?!) but mine is an equally accepted addiction in the Christian circles...TV. When I'm tired or overwhelmed or stressed, all I want to do is lay infront of the TV. I used to need it on all the time just for comfort, even if I wasn't watching it. I'm glad to say that I have broken the addiction...most days. :) Like you I find my flesh winning out over my heart many times. But it's not up to us, is it? We will never be able to break the addiction on our own. Our flesh will win every time without the empowering of the HS. Only He can do it. Press on, Leanne! Keep asking for the strength and He'll keep giving it to you!
The Glen one
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