Our shattered dreams are never random. They are always a piece in a larger puzzle, a chapter in a larger story.

Larry Crabb

Friday, January 27, 2012

Krahn Baby #3

Baby Krahn #3. I will admit I am enjoying seeing our little future baby Krahn every week! I know he or she is still very tiny and some of you may not even know what you are looking at, however I know and I am getting more excited for this little one with each passing week.


I was at a friends for a kiddlet play date this week and we were talking about how when we are excited and happy about the blessings in our lives we just want to talk about those things all the time. Yet we also find it hard because we know we have friends who are grieving and we want to be sensitive to their pain. I remember, I was once there. I remember a time that a dear friend was not sure how to tell me that another friend of ours was pregnant so she blurted it out in front of a member of her husbands youth group. All I wanted to do in that moment was cry yet there was no way I was going to do that in front of this teenager. Now let me preface, my tears were about my pain and how the journey we were on at the time was felt never ending. I was happy for my friend, I just was hurting because I wanted children so badly. I was so emotionally raw at that point that I emailed my then therapist because I did not know what else to do. She reminded me to fall into the arms of my Heavenly Father and let him hold me in my pain. Oh how I miss her wisdom many days! :)


All of that to say that I want to share my excitement about this little one growing inside of me, and whole I am very excited for us I also will continue to hold in prayer my friends who are hurting due to a long fertility journey that so far the outcome has not been what was desired! I think that is where I will end for tonight as I hear Kenzie is out of bed yet again.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

After being up from 3 am to 5:30 am this is how I found him this morning. Hard to believe he was freaking out for over and hour. He is so adorable and melts my heart!
This is how I found Jeral and Kenzie this morning. Jaris woke Kenzie up at 5 am and she went down stairs to play with Jaris and daddy ( I was happy about that), and Jeral said by 5:30 am this is how they all were sleeping soundly on the couches!



Being a goof ball!




We are having one of those weeks where parenting is a struggle. More or less night time is a huge struggle. We had three weeks before Christmas where both of them where sleeping through the night in their own rooms, and well since then nights have been challenging. With another baby on the way we are trying to get Kenzie used to the idea that daddy will be snuggling with her at night sometimes. Kenzie is a mama's girl all the way. The last few nights though she has settled with Jeral in the middle of the night. The first night we tried daddy cuddles instead of mommy cuddles she cried for me for and hour. Now we are down to 5 minutes and then she is sleeping peacefully with her daddy! However Jaris has started waking up in the middle of the night and well he is giving me a run for my money. I am so ready for my kids to sleep through the night. There was something in the beginning about having that special night time snuggle and cuddle. While I do enjoy snuggles and cuddles I am so ready to have our bed back to just Jeral and I for the most part, and am so ready to only wake up to go the washroom in the middle of the night. I guess we are just in the thick of things right now. I keep reminding myself that this is not forever. There will come a day that they sleep by themselves through the night.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

This and That

MacKenzie Multitasking! She will often grab both my phone and IPad claiming they are hers and then I find her relaxing watching two different cartoons



Where do I begin. Life with two toddlers is full. Some days I think we are on our way to potty training Kenzie and then other days the accidents are flowing :) Kenzie vocabulary is growing leaps and bounds, as well as her attitude! Imagine me with a daughter who has attitude! Really she is a very good self advocate. At she sleeps in her room in a nice queen sized bed. However her bed of choice is still next to me.

Jaris is such a little cutie. When we were on our way home for our short trip we stopped for lunch and an elderly woman asked us if her was 4 or 5 years old. I laughed and then replied that he was not ever 2 yet. He is just a tall boy. And really if you look at his face he does not look 4. I think this is something we will be dealing with for many years to come. While I remember liking that people thought I was older than i was a a kid, I also remember that the expectations were much higher because I looked older. I really do not want those expectations put on my son. JAris definitely is his own space kind of guy. He does not like anyone getting in his space if he has claimed that area as his. And watch out when you do get in his space because he goes for the big old head butt and he has a big head!!!!!! Luckily I am still mommy and for the most part he likes mommy cuddles and lets me in his space. His older, yet smaller sister is another story!

Jeral is an amazing daddy! I love watching him with our kids. As for the farm, well yesterday we had a main water line for the barns burst. Gotta love this weather!!!!!! We are getting a new shipment of birds on Tuesday so he is getting the barns ready and with that we also have switched feed companies. We will see what all happens.

Me - well I got to have another ultrasound this past Thursday, and I will be getting them weekly for the next little while. Other than the flu that I had last week I have not been as sick with this little one as I was with Jaris. However I am way more emotional. There is a certain person in my life who is loving the crying at the drop of a hat Leanne - she is such a pain in the ass, yet I pay her to be that way. And with that I think I will go read for a bit while the kids are napping!

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Short Lived Trip

Well we are on holidays however we are back at home. We left for Pateros, Washington on Monday and came home yesterday. The original trip was to include 3 nights in the States and then head up to Abbotsford for a few days and visit friends.

Monday was my 33rd Birthday day, so what better day to leave than that! I had an appointment in Kelowna at 11 am so we got everyone packed up to go because we were heading south of the Border right after. The kids traveled farely well, especially considering they were stuck in car seats for a long time. We got there and I will admit the Hotel was rather nice for a hotel in a little hick town in the middle of no where! Once we settled in we went out for dinner. I was actually feeling well enough to eat a bit which was nice. Night time with Kenzie was challenging however that is nothing new. The next day was when we decided to head home early. I have never thrown up so much. Yes I know I am almost 9 weeks pregnant and still in that window of morning sickness and not feeling well, however this was more. It was non-stop for over 8 hours. I cried I was so sick and it was then Jeral and I decided it was better for me to be sick at home than it was for me to be sick in a hotel room. Plus the weather added to Jeral's desire to just get home. Thus we ended up completely cutting out our trip to Abbotsford to visit friends! While I am sad about that. I am happy to be at home. There really is nothing like home sweet home. And Kenzie slept through the night by herself in her own room last night. YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!! I honestly have not felt this rested in a while. I think traveling will be out for a while. At least until this morning sickness thing is done with.

I still and in awe that there is a little baby growing inside of me. There are days when I wonder if I really am pregnant and then the afternoon comes and I know I am. At some point today I will get to see out little baby bug again. I am waiting for my OBGYN to call me to meet him at the hospital for a scan. When he said he would meet me weekly I did not think he really meant he would! Yet he is keeping his word and I am stoked I get to see him or her again!

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Ultrasound

Well some of you may be wondering how my ultrasound went. It went as good as it could go. There is one little bean in there and he or she had a strong heart beat. Thank you Jesus for that. There are honestly no words to describe how I felt when the tech turned the screen so I could see and she pointed out the little tiny heart beating. So according to yesterday I am 7 weeks and 5 days today. Still a long way to go, yet so looking forward to the journey. We know that we are still in that precarious window of the first trimester and this little one could still end up being held by God before us. However I am further along than I was with our two other miracles who are being held by God, and that gives me a lot of peace. So there you have it Lord will August 25th there will be another Krahn baby!

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Playing in the tunnels!
I love this smile for the camera pose. Last week Friday one of my dearest friends came for a visit and it was so nice to have her here! This is her little girl. I am thankful that we still get to see each other many time through out the year and this way I get to know her little girl. I know i will not know her the same way I got to know Josiah her older brother who is with Jesus, yet I still feel blessed that I get to be a part of her life.


My silly little girl! I love her so very much!


Playing the key board! I got this key board last year for Kenzie and forgot that I had it. Well it has been a hit and I am regretting only buying 1 since we have two little toddlers who want to play with it!

On the slide. Okay so I normally do not witness Jaris being overly possessive about is toys, yet wow, he was acting like his older sister when it came to the slide. I literally had to gently bring him down the slide so he would move so Joelle could have a turn. Ah the trials and tribulations of toddlers! Still love them dearly though!!!!!




Classic Jaris picture with a soother in his mouth! He is such and adorable little boy!


So what is new in our house hold? Kenzie is saying all sorts of words. "Truck, car, and stuck," are the new favorites. She has been expressing a fashion sense that is all her own, and I am doing my best to let her be as expressive as she desires to be, however I still want to have a say in Sundays Church outfits. Kenzie has been leaving us lovely works of art all over the house! So far we have been able to clean up the walls and furniture that she has taken markers and crayons too!


Jaris - is getting very tall! He is taking after his daddy there!!! The poor little gaffer got a burn on his hand when we were visiting some friends who have a wood stove. His hand just grazed the hot metal yet it was enough for him to end up getting a burn across his knuckles. I love polysporin at times like this. Honestly you would never know he has a burn though, since he never complains about it. Jaris definitely knows what he wants these days and lets us know about it. He is also the sensitive one who if talked to in a firm voice will break down crying! Where as his sister will look at you and laugh and then run and try to kiss you as if to say "there, there mommy biting my brother is really not all that bad!"


I saw my OBGYN today and my hormone levels were looking really good. I am getting them checked again tomorrow, and ultimately the ultrasound on Tuesday will let us know if this pregnancy is a viable one. I am feeling better just knowing my hormone levels are good so far. Like we have said we know this little one is in God's hands ultimately, and not ours. No matter how the ultrasound goes this is it for us and we are at peace about this. I know being at peace does not meant that we will not grieve if the results come back telling us out little one is with Jesus. Trust me the grief will be there and expressed in safe places! Our hearts desire is that we get to hold this little one in our arms late summer, and that we get the blessing of parenting him or her for the rest of our lives. Only God knows if this is going to happen for now, and here is hoping we get to know if that is going to be in a a few days! Thanks for praying we appreciate it.!