Our shattered dreams are never random. They are always a piece in a larger puzzle, a chapter in a larger story.

Larry Crabb

Friday, September 11, 2009

Week 10

So I am ten weeks and 4 days now! So crazy, I remember when we first got pregnant that I thought it would be a miracle for the baby to make it this far. That is in part to my fear that everything good gets taken away - a ball of yarn I am constantly and very much so working and sitting with Jesus to give up.

What has this week brought. Well since my blood sugar levels were so good yesterday when I showed them everything I get to stop sticking myself 4 times a day, and only have to do it once a day. Yeah for that, now my fingers are not so much of a pin cushion.

I was down in Abbotsford this week and wow I was emotionally drained of everything by the time I was done. I also had an issue with my car. I killed the battery. Chalk that up to pregnancy brain. I am blessed to have good friends down there who came and picked me up to drive me to my session with Joy, and then after walking back to their place drove me to my car where we jumped it and I was able to drive home.

I got to spend sometime with one of my closest friends in the whole wide world. She lost her son a little over a month ago, and we cried. I miss my nephew, so I can only imagine how much they miss their son.

I ended up sobbing my eyes out in the arms of my therapist, and truthfully I cannot blame the tears on my hormones as much as I wish I could, I know that on that day the tears had nothing to do with hormones. I have started contemplating what life is going to look like once I stop see her in December and I am not sure if I am ready for this step. However I know God will direct and guide, and truthfully I have been taught so much by her that I know I will make it. It is just scary thinking that someone who has meant so much to me, to my marriage, and even to my baby (he or she does not know that yet) will not be a constant part of my life. Oh well God knows!

I have a sore throat. I am pretty sure that is due to the lack of sleep I am getting right now and to the emotionally draining week. However, little "Joy Bug" is safely tucked away in mommy and growing every day so that is something to be thankful for and to give praise to God for.

Well I think that is enough of an update for now. I need to figure out what to make my amazing hubby for supper! Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2 comments:

Trev and Rebekah said...

I often find when I cry my throat hurts all the more. Hope you feel better soon!

Looking forward to seeing you in a few weeks. And my dear friend I know you have come a long way in your journey and I am confident that you have the tools to step out on your own and you always have Jesus right there with ya.

Janelle said...

oh i love you babe.
and soooo happy & excited for this 10 week mark!! that little bug is SAFE inside there, and growing strong!! :)
get those tears out - we all need to do it, and it will help make the healing process "easier" - if it can ever BE easier.