Home Again

First family walk! It was just a short one to the mail box and back for me. I still am physically exhausted from all that happened during child birth, however I still do not like sitting all day and doing very little, so a short family walk it was! I look forward to the big long walks and hikes we are hoping to take in the months ahead!

First picture of sister and brother - Jaris decided he was not a fan of his 3 month old sister holding him. However she is totally taken in by him. She spent most of the day just wanting to look at her little bro!

This past week has been filled with many ups and downs. Who would ever think that giving birth would be so wonderful and yet so difficult at the same time?

Jaris and I got to come home on Thursday and we are praying that he continues to feed and poop and pee well. I really just want to be able to be home and keep out little family together. I also really just want to be able to sleep in my own bed with my husband there.

Life as we know it has changed and we are so blessed to have our little ones. I also find I worry way more now about whether or not they are okay. Okay I worry more about Jaris seeing that he is just barely a week old actually a52 minutes away from being a week old. Thus I have gone back and forth with the decision to breast feed him. Some times I think okay I will give it a try like today as it seemed I had lost of milk, yet he is not latching properly so then I am topping up with formula. Reality is we are used to bottles and formula and fully know that amazing bonding and attachment can happen from bottle feeding.

This week has been full of many blessings - in the form of our beautiful son, and our family who has helped out in huge ways. The other Krahn family watching MacKenzie and my mom coming to help out etc. And also this week has been rough on my emotionally. Finally getting to spend some time with my daughter only to get a phone call cutting that short to have to go back to the hospital. Emotional triggers getting set off at what seems like every turn - things that I will only talk to Jesus about and would have only talked to one other person about. Anyways in the days and weeks to come I know I will have much to talk to Jesus about and many balls of yarn that I will have to fully release to Him without holding onto the end.

Well it is late and everyone is sleep except me so I will go fix that by hitting the pillow and sleeping until my son wakes up to feed!