Kenzie is 18 Months

Just the 4 of us! Love my family!
Just looking at the chicks and not totally sure what to do.

Baby Chicks! This is also the budget blowing outfit that I got Kenzie while we were in Seattle!

What a little boy! I love his tie!

Hmmm maybe the cover of a Chicken Farming Magazine, or some sort of Magazine!

Having some alone time, with no kids playing with her!

We have a similar photo of him when he is 3.5 weeks old and Kate was taking photos.

What a great looking Chicken Farming Family! Now this is a magazine cover if ever there was one!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Outside in her outfit!

Playing in the grass with mommy

Hanging out in a tree!

Seriously where is time go? Today my daughter is 18 months old and officially no longer an infant. She is a toddler. Ahhhhhhhh, time I want some of you back. My baby girl is growing up way to fast. There are days that I look at her and amazed that I am her mommy, and then I think of the journey it was to become her mommy and how God intricately all worked it out. truly her life is a miracle and we get to witness that miracle everyday! This milestone maybe one I cry a little with as I grieve leaving the infant stage behind, and yet I look forward to all the toddler stage has to offer us! I know I am going to be one busy mama!

Father's Day

Trying to get Jaris into the back pack for the hike!

Father and Son!

All snug in the back pack for the hike to the falls! I really wish she would allow me to put clips in her hair, however she is very content to have the hair in her face!


Caught the kids playing in the toilet and me being the fantastic mommy I am ran to get the camera and let them keep playing!

Jeral is an amazing Father! I know I have said it before and I will say it again, he is amazing. He loves spending time with his kids, and he loves teaching them new things. I never have to worry that he is going to dread spending time with them so I can go out for a bit and have some mommy recharge time. He never complains about changing diapers, he is fine with giving them a bath, or doing the dishes while I bath them! He will often get up in the middle of the night if one of them is crying and I have been up with the other one, or sometimes he just gets up so I can sleep! You should see the way his eyes light up when he talks about his daughter, and his son. You can tell he loves them so very much. Truly an amazing dad! I am so blessed that he is my husband and the father of our children.

Watching him with our children is one of those experiences that is both wonderful and hard to watch. I get the blessing of loving watching him be such a great daddy and then I also end up spending some time grieving that I did not have this as a child. I am coming to realize it is more than okay to love watching him with our kids and then also feel a bit of sadness as I process my own childhood. I will say I am grateful to be in a place where I am allowing myself to experience both the joy and the grief, and not saying it has to be either, or. Instead it is both, and!

In other family news - Jaris is so fun to watch. He no longer need to crawl over to something to pull himself up to walk. If he falls on his bottom side he just flips over and stands up! So amazing to watch , and now that he seems to having walking down pretty good he is babbling up a storm and talking so much these days! Still not sure what he is say, however I have a sneaky suspicion that Kenzie and Jaris are developing their own language!

In the Kenzie department we think that part of the anxiety problem is not liking to be given away or passed off. For example the other day I really needed to do something so I tried to give Kenzie to Jeral, well that did not go over so well. I have found that if I allow the time for the other person to gather her and let Kenzi get to a place of wanting to go to that person then the anxiety drops. I am also praying huge amounts of peace for my little girl every night as we snuggle. Interestingly enough last night I was thinking about something else as I was holding her and i was getting all feisty in my thoughts and Kenzie went from being calm to anxious and all fired up and ready to take on the world. It took a good 15 minutes to get her back to the calm almost asleep state again. Note to self when snuggling with Kenzie stay focused on her and how much I love her - do no think about anything that will produce anxiety or stress!

With all of that I am a very thankful woman for the life I have with my beautiful family!

Just Where I Am At

This morning in Church we were singing the normal evangelical songs and on of the songs talked about BROKENNESS being what I need and what I long for. Another song talked about everything being for the purpose of bring God Glory. I started thinking about the past few days and how broken I have felt for months over something that happened, and how I got hurt by someone I thought would not hurt me, not in the way I was hurt. I started thinking really God, really this brings you glory, how does this bring you glory? How does broken trust bring God glory, especially when there is no way to repair that trust because the relationship that once was is no longer, and the relationship that could have been was thrown away? Things could have been so different. I guess the answer to my the question of how does this circumstance bring God glory is, it doesn't I think God hurts with myself and the other person involved. However maybe the way God is brought glory is through how I handle my end of things. I am not totally sure. Do I wish for a do over? Hell ya, and if it were all up to me we would find away to restore some sort of relationship, so trust could be mended to some degree. Yet it is not all up to me. This is where I am at!

Despite the above I am so blessed. I have two amazing little kids I am absolutely head of heals in love with and love being their mommy! I love getting to hold them, to read the stories, to wipe their snotty noses, to wipe away their tears, to sit on the floor and play with them, and so much more. I will say my favorite time of day in snuggle time in the evening just before bed. I love having them fall asleep in my arms! I have a wonderful Husband who I am madly in love with, and I know who is madly in love with me too! Lucky woman I know! I have a great life, more than anything I ever had as a child growing up, and Jeral and I will be able to provide for them in ways my mom could not provide for my sister and I as kids! I guess I am trying to in life find the beautiful in the midst of brokenness, and my family definitely is something beautiful!

Life This Week

Life with two little ones is constantly on the go! Monday I came home from a Doctor's appointment to an empty house. Jeral had taken both kids to Vernon for a little bit, and well the house was unusually quiet. While I took in a few quiet moments I reflected on how Jeral and I loved having our God-Daughters over at the house all the time because there laughter, shouts, cries, and chatter filled this large house with wonderful noise, and how every time they would go home after we had them for a week or two Jeral and I would go out on a date because we could not bear to be in such a large and silent house. I had that same feeling when I came home Monday and there was not pitter-patter of Kenzie and Jaris coming to see me because they heard my voice. Funny you would think I would enjoy a few moments of silence and yet I find I enjoy it ore when I know they are in our home soundly sleeping, than when they are not here.

So I was at the Doctor on Monday for a few things. My allergies are awful this year and something needed to be figured out because I am having to triple dose allergy meds and still I am having allergy attacks. So off to an allergist I am going. Not sure when, however hopefully before this allergy season is over. In the mean time I am on a nasal steroid and it seems to be helping. I also have a spot on my lip that I have had for a while that is getting darker. It was decided that we would keep monitoring it and if it changes than a biopsy will have to happen. I had a friend ask me if I was scared and my answer to her was no, there is nothing to be afraid of, just keeping an eye on it.

Kenzie has really been struggling separation anxiety lately. We have noticed ever since we brought her home and that people who say good bye or leave to go home, fills her with anxiety. However it is getting harder and harder for me to leave the house to go to appointments, or even today while we were watching the game I got up to go get a drink and she started crying and came running up to me with her arms up wanting to be picked up. this morning I had to go to town and I was going to take Jaris to come with me since I took Kenzie last night, and she reached out for me as I was telling her I love her and I would be back soon, and she grabbed my skin and dug her nails in as I trying to go to the van. Needless to say my mommy heart was breaking and I choose to bring her too. It is sort of a catch 22 do i try to sneak out undetected, or do I reassure her that I love her very much and that I will be coming back shortly.

Last night at bed time it was so hard, any time I tried to put her down in her crib she looked at me she sheer terror in her eyes, as if to say, "Mommy don't leave me." It took from 8:30 pm to 1 am to finally get her asleep. Twice Jeral tried to spell me off and both times she cried and cried and cried, so finally I said it is okay, I will stay with her no matter how I feel (dang allergies). She finally fell asleep all nuzzled on my chest. Seriously sweet and I cherished that time, since she is more of a face out kind of girl, and I think that last time I remember her snuggling like that she was 2 weeks old. I am hoping and praying that she is just out of whack because we got home only a week ago from holidays and while we were away she fell asleep in my arms and slept in the same bed as me and now we are adjusting back to her room and her crib!

This afternoon I saw one of the most wonderful things in the world. Jaris was chasing Kenzie! He was walking after her laughing and reaching out for her and she was running to get away, all the while laughing! I am so thankful that Jaris is walking and am in such awe of my little boy. My heart melts a lot in the presence of my children. Especially these days when Jaris walks up to me and puts his hands up and says, "Mama", and then I get to swoop down and pick him up in my arms. I remember the times I would sit and cry in the counseling room with Joy over the whole infertility journey we were walking through and while not getting pregnant month after month was a huge part of that heart ache. The bigger heart ache was not having my children in my arms. Not being able to come home and pick up my son or daughter and hold them in my arms, and kiss them on the cheek, and tell them I love them and I love being their mama. Now I get to do that with both y miracles. It is one of the best feelings in the world. Something to cherish for every!

Other than that I have been processing lots and learning lots lately, and well the time to write on the blog has not yet come and I am not sure if my blog is the forum for it I am grateful for those Jesus has sent along past and present to walk we me and Him as I learn all this stuff! So blessed indeed!

My little girl, who is really not a baby anymore! Wow, wear did time go? This morning she was so adorable. When she realized that Jeral was leaving the house, she got down from my lap and ran into the kitchen and said, "Bu-bye, Dada." Way to melt my heart little girlie! I know the day she can say "I love you!" I will start crying. Today was also the first day of us attempting no nap in the afternoon for her. Actually it was day 2 however I am not counting the day that she slept until 10 am as us starting. Anyways it was nice to get some focus time with just her. Something to look forward to in our afternoons!

So my son is still sick, and man alive is he ever snugly. He normal is a snuggle bug, however as he has gotten more independent the snuggle time has decreased significantly however with this flu he is all about mama these days. Despite this flu though Jaris is walking up a storm these days. I realized just how little room he had to walk around in our hotel room, however when we got home and he saw the wide open space to roam around in, he wasted no time. I love Jaris, my son so very much.

Well I still have a few thoughts to ponder privately and we have a big day tomorrow! My friend is coming to take our family pictures, and I am so excited for a few of the picture set ups. However I will keep those a surprise for a later post!

The Zoo and our Holidays

A baby Dinosaur! Not sure if it was worth the $6 we paid to see the real life especially since Kenzie got scared and started crying!

Gotta love the spray! Apparently a friend from Bible College thinks this looks like me. Hmmmmm, note to self delete as a facebook friend!


Bear Sloth - this guys was shy. He kept coming out of his cave and then would see people and turn around, however I got a good picture none the less.

Big Yawn, on a hot sunny afternoon! Not sure if i would want to be close to those teeth!

He had the right idea. Oh how nice to be swimming on a hot day!

Taking an afternoon nap! He may look snugly however it is all an act!

If you look closely there is another one in the sack!

Nice and shiny!

She looks like she is smiling

We are done mama!

Did you know that lions rest 23 hours in the day, and the women are the ones who hunt and bring back for the males. Learned that on a Safari in Kenya, not at the zoo!

Hip - Hip - Hip - Hippopotamus, hip-hip-hip-horray God made all of us! A lovely camp song that once upon a time I got to sing a lot!

Someone is mad!!!! Actually someone came a little to close to her eggs for her liking!

One of my favorite zoo animals!! :)

There legs bend the opposite way ours do! Not sure if I could handle that if I were a bird. Good thing I am not a bird!

One of the very few pictures with me in it. Since I am the photographer I take most of the pics and am in very few, however i got Jeral to take one and it turned out okay!

My favorite picture of the day!

Three of the best looking zoo animals ever!!! Love you guys!

Thought this was funny!

Well we are now home from our first over the boarder family holiday and it was great! Yes a lot of work with two toddlers, and yet so much fun! So here is the over view of our trip.

We got to visit with a lot of friends. It was so good seeing each and every one of them. Headed down to Blaine Washing ton to celebrate the adoption of a little miracle named Makenzie. Then we drove to Seattle where we spent three nights, in a small and in my mind ghetto hotel room, however really I just like to stay in nice hotels and well lets just say this one was not like the pictures when it was booked. Our time there included the Zoo, swimming at the hotel, a trip to Pikes Market, me purchasing a very lovely yet kids clothing budget blowing outfit for Kenzie (don’t worry we got lots for Jaris too). The kids thought every night was a party! It was so funny yet so hard to get them to go to sleep at night! A middle of the night projectile vomit all over me was also included in this trip. All in all we had a blast, and I am looking forward to the next family holiday!

So the trip to the zoo was so much fun. While the kids are still young I know they enjoyed it a lot. They were looking at everything with awe and wonder, so or like I was. Kenzie kept pointing at everything and everyone. She was rather social, however that is nothing new. She was constantly waving at people and saying hi and then as we would walk by she would say bu-bye! It was so adorable. They did really well in the stroller and we made sure we took breaks to let them out and play. I had a ton of fun with my mother’s day gift and kept telling Jeral how grateful I was for the camera I got. Once we got back to the hotel we got the kids ready to go swimming and that was hilarious and we loved having the pool at to ourselves. After swimming we went back to our hotel room to watch a rather disappointing Canucks game! Oh well despite the but whipping our team took our family had a wonderful day!

Pikes Market Place was a nice. The last time Jeral and I were there was on our honey moon, and since we went walking on New Years Day most of the little shops were closed, so it was nice to get to see all the vendors and so on. However Jaris was sick and I felt badly for my poor little boy. When he puked the first time I thought he just choked a bit on his gerber cheese puff, and that is why, however after he ate some blue berries and we were walking all of a sudden he was puking a lot and it got all over him. Luckily we were by a kids clothing store (lucky for Jaris, not so lucky for our pocket book). Most of the stuff was all organic cotton and rather expensive, however so adorable. And I found the most adorable outfit for Kenzie there. I showed it to Jeral and told him the price and at first he said no, so I put it back, we bought the stuff for Jaris so we could change him, and we left. However for the rest of the afternoon I kept thinking about the out fit. We looked at other stuff and just nope I did not like the things I was seeing for Kenzie so we talked about it and I agreed that this was it then for this month and kids clothing, and I went back and bought the $150 outfit. Yep one outfit cost $150. So worth it though.

We went out for dinner at Red Robins – the same restaurant Jeral and I went to on our honeymoon. The kids did great. I was so impressed with them. Once we got back to the hotel we got the kids ready for bed and watch animal planet for a long while. The kids thought it was party time and well bed time was close after 11 pm. Kenzie was snuggling with me to fall asleep – this prevented the kids screaming and keeping the neighbours up, and well I must have fallen asleep because I woke up to a loud crash. Kenzie fell off the bed. This was a first in the middle of the night. She moves a lot however I did not expect her to fall off the bed. She was more scared than anything, and understandably so. Imagine being a tiny toddler and one second peacefully sleeping and the next crashing on the floor and smacking you hand on the air conditioner. Poor baby girl. Her screaming woke up Jaris so we had two crying babes. I finally got Kenzie to sleep just in time to take Jaris from Jeral so he could go back to sleep and well I head Jaris gagging so I took him to the bathroom and just as I turned the lights on projectile vomit came flying out of his mouth. It was all over me and him, down the front of my shirt, in my shirt and dripping down my body, down my back and in my shirt down my back, as well as all over my neck etc. I think you get the picture. I called Jeral in hoping Kenzie would stay sleeping and while Jaris and I showered, Jeral cleaned up the puke on the floor. I did not think a little guy could puke like that, yet wow he sure did. I finally got him to sleep and then I crawled into bed and prayed that the kids would both sleep until 9 am so I could get some sleep. Nope no such luck. And with that we headed home to good old Armstrong, with a few stops on the way! A visit to G&G Krahn, and a stop in Windfield for Jeral to puke. Yep he is sick now too. And while we had a fantastic trip I am happy to be home and sleeping in my own bed tonight! I still have a post or two more with other photo's from our trip, however it is late and I want to sleep so those will have to wait as I have time to post them!