Just Where I Am At

This morning in Church we were singing the normal evangelical songs and on of the songs talked about BROKENNESS being what I need and what I long for. Another song talked about everything being for the purpose of bring God Glory. I started thinking about the past few days and how broken I have felt for months over something that happened, and how I got hurt by someone I thought would not hurt me, not in the way I was hurt. I started thinking really God, really this brings you glory, how does this bring you glory? How does broken trust bring God glory, especially when there is no way to repair that trust because the relationship that once was is no longer, and the relationship that could have been was thrown away? Things could have been so different. I guess the answer to my the question of how does this circumstance bring God glory is, it doesn't I think God hurts with myself and the other person involved. However maybe the way God is brought glory is through how I handle my end of things. I am not totally sure. Do I wish for a do over? Hell ya, and if it were all up to me we would find away to restore some sort of relationship, so trust could be mended to some degree. Yet it is not all up to me. This is where I am at!

Despite the above I am so blessed. I have two amazing little kids I am absolutely head of heals in love with and love being their mommy! I love getting to hold them, to read the stories, to wipe their snotty noses, to wipe away their tears, to sit on the floor and play with them, and so much more. I will say my favorite time of day in snuggle time in the evening just before bed. I love having them fall asleep in my arms! I have a wonderful Husband who I am madly in love with, and I know who is madly in love with me too! Lucky woman I know! I have a great life, more than anything I ever had as a child growing up, and Jeral and I will be able to provide for them in ways my mom could not provide for my sister and I as kids! I guess I am trying to in life find the beautiful in the midst of brokenness, and my family definitely is something beautiful!