A Simply Innocent Question

Today as I was running some errands I stopped to buy a protective case for my cell phone and the man at the kiosk asked if my babies were twins, and I chose to tell him the we had the blessing of adopting our daughter, while I was pregnant with our son. His question to me was - "Do you love them the same?" The question kind of caught me off guard, simply because it would never occur to me to love my children with a different degree of love. His question was aksed out of curiousity. I love my both Kenzie and Jaris very much. If anything ever happened to either one of them, a huge part of my heart would be ripped out and missing. Biology really has nothing to do with ones ability to love, at least not for me. Love is a feeling yes, yet love is also a choice. Everyday I choose to love Kenzie, and I choose to love Jaris, and I choose to love their daddy Jeral. Are there days that I am so tired and not sure how i will function or make it through the next hour, yep and even on those days I choose to love my children, and my husband. The gift of being able to adopt our daughter has been one of the most amazing blessings in our lives, and if given the opportunity to adopt again I would (we would). Was it an easy journey? Nope ask anyone who walked with us as we went through the process I had some melt downs, and yet we got our beautiful daughter out of it. The ability to conceive and carry our son was also an amazing blessing. Was that easy? Nope! Yet we have our amazing little boy from that journey. Two different journey's = two very loved children! There is my mommy rant for the day!

Life as of Late

Wow, I have a 9 month old little girl who truly is amazing, and a 6 month old sweet little boy. Life seems to be flying by and then there are days that go by at a snail’s pace. However, every day is a day that I cherish. We just finished a weekend without Jeral. He went on a motor cycle trip with some of his friends, and well I went to stay with a friend as I am not brave enough to stay home alone with the babes. I realized just how much I rely on Jeral while he was gone, and how blessed I am that we have the life style we do. I love having Jeral home to help with the babes and the house work. Jeral also is leaving again on Thursday for a short one night motor cycle trip with his dad, his uncles, and aunt. So I am packing up and going to my mom’s for the night. Should be interesting!!!!!

Kenzie has learned how to crawl up the stairs so we have a gate up by the stairs. She is also fearless and would drive down head first if someone was not watching. Jaris loves the jolly jumper. Seriously he can jump in there for an hour at a time if he is in the mood, and we let him since he loves it so much!

We also found out that I miscarried recently. It was a bit of a shock that I was pregnant and it was early in the pregnancy. We had wanted to wait until both Kenzie and Jaris were a year before we decided about having more children or not. We also had wanted to make sure that all the tests in regards to Jaris was back and normal, because for obvious reasons if something had come back abnormal then we decided that would have closed the door to more biological children. Despite those tests coming back normal we were not planning on having a baby soon. Our two miracles are enough to keep me very busy right now, and I am not in the shape I want to be physically, or where I would like to be emotionally. The truth is my being pregnant had not really sunk in yet by the time I miscarried. We are really not sure how we feel about this; however we do know that for right now we are doing well. A year ago my response to something like this would have been very different, and who knows how I will feel a year from now when I look back on this. We are blessed to have the two miracles that we do have and we look forward to getting to spend time with them and enjoying all their milestones.

All Good!

Today we met with the pediatrician again and the genetic testing came back normal, so that is awesome. Jaris really just was born with weak muscle tone and when it was time to start moving he had a lot of him to move. He officially has out grown his car seat at only 5.5 months, therefore this week we will be getting him a new car seat. Was not expecting that to happen as quickly as it has. My head was measured also today just to see if I have a big head, and well yup I have a big head. Okay i know how that sounds! Go ahead have a good laugh!!!! :) Anyways Jeral's head is bigger so it stands to reason that Jaris has a huge head also. It is for all those amazing brains we have stored inside our skulls. I am so happy Jaris was born 10 days early. I cannot imagine having to birth a head bigger than I already did.

Joyful Radiant One!

Despite the fact that I should be in bed and trying to sleep I chose to not resist putting this picture on the blog! Today as I was cleaning up my desk area I found something that I potentially could have let turn my day into a mucky one for me, however then Kenzie does this, she smiles and this time we can see her teeth. Her name means radiant joyful one, and she is ever bit of her name and more. She also looked and me and said mom today. My niece is the one that pointed it out, and then Kenzie did it again later in the evening. It is hard to have a rough day when I hear mom for the first time, and then my little miracle smiles the the way she does. I love my little girl so much and am astounded that I get to be her mommy. Thanks for being my daughter! I love you !

Blanket or Mommy?

Being a mom changes your perspective on things a lot. The other night I was trying to get Kenzie to go to sleep, however every time I put her down she woke up and started crying, and I let her cry for a few minutes to see if she would fall asleep however each time she got louder and louder. The reality was I wanted her to go to sleep so I could crochet for a bit before I went to bed. Yeah – that is totally not the right motivation, even though the blanket is for her. As I was holding her I started thinking as Kenzie grows up what do I want her to remember about me her mother? Do I want to her to remember that I wanted her to go to sleep because I wanted to crochet or watch tv without her there, or do I want Kenzie to remember me as a mommy who was never too busy to hold her and snuggle with her? Would Kenzie rather have a soft fuzzy blanket made by me, or would she rather have me? AS of now I think the answer is me, and trust me I know that will not always be the answer. Yes I am tired and not sure what day is what most of the time, and yet seriously who cares? Please do not hear me wrong as a mom you have to do what you have to do to stay sane, and trust me I have made my fair share of decisions to stay sane. I am not judging those who have done the crying it out so they sleep at night, if that is what you need to do then that is what you need to do. Fortunately Jeral is home in the morning so if it has been a rough night he lets me sleep, because some nights/days I only get to sleep for those 3-4 hours in the morning. I guess what I am trying to say is that for me, I want to be a mom who would rather cuddle and snuggle despite how tired I am, or what I may really want to do, than a mom who would rather do all those things. I want my children to always have a memory of me as a mommy who was there to hold them and love them even if they are un able to express why they are crying or screaming. I know that I will fail at this at times – I know I am not the perfect mom, no matter how much I wish I was. I just want to be a mom that puts aside the not important stuff like crocheting a blanket to be there for my babes!

Pictures!

On Sunday we took the kids hiking up to a place called Rainbow Falls. We had to drive 2 hours to get to there. Logging roads and so on slow things down. We are going to be making Sundays our family outing days. Not sure what we will do when the weather is colder, however I am sure we will come up with something!
The scenery was amazing up there! There was a mist covering everything due to the rain, and the mist just made everything all the more spectacular!

Our family! Luckily we ran into another group up there and they were willing to take a picture of us!

Kenzie and me! I may be a bigger mama once again, however I am choosing to be proud of my babes and spending time with them! I crocheted Kenzie's toque a few days ago, to match the cut outfit we got her for winter. I hope it fits all winter, however we will see. I am also making her a matching blanket to keep her warm on our winter walks!

Kenzie on our hike! Both She and Jaris did great. I must admit that I found it hard to hike with a little girl attached on to me especially when the trails are narrow. However it was well worth the awkwardness to see the waterfalls!

Here is Rainbow Falls! I love this place and hopefully the next time we go the weather will be good enough for a picnic up there!

Jaris all snug with is Papa! I crocheted the toque for him the night before we left. I at first thought that the toque would be too big, however nope, my son does have a huge head! He is so adorable, and I love him so very much!

Hanging out with Papa!

Kenzie with her mouth stuffed full of food! I love watching her eat!

My nephew driving the tractor for the first time, and he cut the grass for us. He did an awesome job. Thanks!

Kenzie climbing over Jaris and he did not seem to mind being a object to get over!

Jaris grabbing at his feet and holding on! This is new for him, well three weeks new! I love watching him start to do more and more things!

My son smiling away! He has the cutest little grin. He is getting stronger and stronger all the time. I love getting to play with him and work on skills to strengthen him in fun ways. I am the luckiest mom in the world, and i am very content being a mommy!

Just Life

I know my little boy is big, however when we decided to put Kenzie in his jeans today and they were to big - that was a bit of a reality check. We knew she was a petite little girl however seriously! at least she is not a year older and fitting into his clothes, she is only 3 months older.

Jaris in the last day has rolled over on his own 3 times! Yeah little boy. Mama is so proud of you! I also bought a toy the other day and it makes noises as you twirl it and Jaris is giggling away with those noises. I am assuming he likes the noises so much because they are almost fart like noises. My son sure is a boy!!! :)

Kenzie today took a three hour nap in the afternoon! She has not done that in almost 3 months. I am really hoping that switching back to the other formula is going to help solve some of the sleep issues. Not that I mind all the cuddles late at night! I know that once they are teenagers they will not want to snuggle with mommy all night!! :0 At least we are hoping to get our bed back to ourselves by then! Funny how life changes so much with kids!

Tomorrow we are going hiking around Rainbow Falls. I am very excited to get to go there with the babes as I love waterfalls, and the hike with the fresh air will be good for all of us!

Sorry no pictures just a short up date!

Today we had the physiotherapist come to the house and work with Jaris and show me a few things that I can do with him daily. It was also great to hear that while his muscle tone is weak in his upper body, he is not that far behind developmentally. I was loving hearing that because I have been workng with him super hard to help him get stronger. Jaris is also sleeping much better at night. Most nights he seems to be sleeping for 8 hour stints. Mommy is loving that!!!! :)

Kenzie is motoring around all the time. We finally got a gate to go between our kitchen and living room. So nice to be able to leave Kenzie in a safe area if I have to take Jaris up stairs. Kenzie has finally popped he two bottom teeth, and with that I am hoping the long rough nights will settle down a bit. Last week there were a few rough night and I was up from 1 am to 7 am one of those nights. Oh well, she sure is cute when she want to cuddle, and even when she screams in my face because she is not sure what to do she is cute!

I am really enjoying the cooler weather. I am not a fan of the heat. Give me fall weather year round and I would be as happy as a pig in mud!!!!!!!!!

Jeral is looking forward to his motor cycle trip in a few weeks. He and a few guys from our church are taking 2 nights and 3 days to ride around BC. I am going to stay home with the babes, well not actually at home. I am packing them up and going to a friends house!

That is the update. Hopefully I will have pictures for the next update!

Blessings, The Krahn Krew!