Play time outside! They were so funny laughing away at each other!

Some one on one time with mommy after daddy took Kenzie back inside. I love how he will get so excited to play ball with mommy. He is fantastic at rolling the ball back to me and then he flails his arms in excitement as he waits for me to roll the ball back to him.

Jeral and I have been talking about toys some of us had as kids and he mentioned that some friends of his had a clown that when you punched it would fall over and then pop back up. I am not sure if I am old enough to actually remember those kind of toys :) However I was able to find a penguin similar to it that also makes noises and the kids love it!

Have I recently said how much I love these kids? I know I write about them a lot, so my love may be implied. However I never want my love just to be implied I want to shout it from the roof tops that I love these kids so very much. Yes I love all the quirky and funny things that they do. Yet I love them simply because they exist. I am so blessed to get to be their mommy. Last night could have been one of those nights I complained about having to get up in the middle of the night. Yet I am finding that I enjoy all the snuggles late night or early morning depending on one's point of view. There is something about the house being all quiet and sitting in a rocking chair with a very adorable and tired little one in my arms. There is something very calming and relaxing when Kenzie or Jaris settle down in my arms. It actually calms me. I remember talking with someone about how it actually is creating a brain connection between my babes and me. So seeing as they are getting more and more independent I will take all the times I get to connect and attach with them because I love them so very much!

Pictures and Life

My baby boy and his stylish hair! I love putting gel in it and spiking it so he looks all cute. He is looking more and more like a little boy and not a baby anymore and some days I am sad about the baby days being gone, however I look forward to the toddler days!

Not sure how many of you had a horse like this when you were little? My sister and i sure did so I love watching my kids ride on this one the G & G Krahn found for them! I have a picture of me as a little girl sitting on a horse just like this in my pj's and house coat!

playing with a musical giraffe!

giving mommy an "I am not impressed, yet I sort of want to show off" face! I love the many expressions I get to watch my kids make with their faces.

My kids are growing up way to fast! I love watching them every day explore, finding the new in the old. I often wonder where all the curiosity and awe we had a little children disappeared to. I guess as we grow up life happens and we get more skeptical due to the reality that at times we get hurt, at times things do not turn out how we want. I really want to encourage my babes to stay curious for as long as they can.

As much as I am not a morning person. I must admit that I love our mornings as a family. Jeral stays home and we often are all in our PJ's or comfy clothes and we play. Sometimes we put on Play House Disney for the babes to watch. It all depends on the morning. Mostly the thing I love the most is that we are together as a family! On the mornings that are rushed because we need to get out the door I miss this time that we normally get and I know not having it affects me greatly because I tend to get grumpy then. A grumpy tired mama is not a good combination. I guess what I love the most about our mornings is that it is a time that we ALL get to connect with each others. I even started drinking coffee again in the mornings as we play with the kids, and Jeral and I talk.

What else is new these days? Hmmm, Jaris is walking behind his walking toy. I so love watching him do things like that. He is babbling more which is so nice. I am trying not to use the soother during the day for both kids. I love watching them play together. I know that they will have constant companions with being so close in age and yet I also know that there will be days they need space from each other too.

Kenzie is getting more and more vocal. She has figured out how to say Riley. Riley is Auntie Jodi's dog and kenzie absolutely adores him. It is so fun watching both kids personalities coming out! Kenzie also loves balls. Any time we go out and she sees a ball she wants it. What is it with balls and this developmental stage? Oh well gotta love it. The best gift for the moment is a ball!

Boths kids love the outdoors, however they do not like grass. I will have to figure something out so we can start spending more time outside playing without my back hurting from carrying both of them around. Well I think that is all for today as Jaris is napping and I now get to spend some great one on one time with Kenzie. Hmmm I have a feeling we will be throwing balls all over the toy room!!!!!

&

Happy Easter!

It's a little blurry I may need to get a copy of Shelley's photo's. We had wanted to get pictures of the girls in matching dresses and Jaris all snazzy however our kids were tired and started crying so Jeral and I got in the pictures too! Sort of us having all our "kids" with us. I miss hanging out with the girls all the time. Having them in our lives filled a huge void in our hearts when we wanted children and yet were unable too at the time.

My good looking boys! Jaris was so tired and so was Jeral. As much as Easter weekend was great getting to see everyone it was almost too busy for us! My guys look good in purple!



Kenzie got to wear a very special locket on Easter Sunday. I was not sure if I was going to let her wear it or even if i was ready for her to wear it. I am pretty sure she was more interested in the box than the locket. I tired to take the box away while taking a picture however that did not go over so well. Boxes and balls seem to be the only toys my kids need these days!!





Jaris simply exhausted and wanting a buba (aka - bottle). Despite how busy we were this past weekend both kids did very well.

While at church Kenzie found a doll in the nursery and she loves dolls a lot. I thought it was so cute watching her hold the doll, kiss it, and stroke its head the way I do with her and Jaris. I feel so very blessed to get to be here to watch my babies grow!

Kenzie and me on Sunday Morning. Kenzie was not all that into the picture. Oh well she sure is a cutie pie!

Happy Easter everyone! This is technically the kids 2nd Easter as last year at this time both Jaris and Kenzie we tiny babes. Jaris was a week old at Easter and Kenzie was 3 and a half months. Wow things have changed so much in a year and a bit. Today I will probably get cuddle time with each of them and tell them the Easter Story. It is a story we have told them time and time again. This time though today we will use the Kids Bible that G & G Krahn bought them. I know that Kenzie and Jaris do not understand why we celebrate today. They are too little for now. However one day they will not be. I honestly do not remember how old I was when I really understood all that Jesus did for me. Nor am I sure that as an adult I totally comprehend it completely either. I guess the older I get the more I realize I have way more to understand. A far cry from the young teenager I was who thought I knew it all!!!!

Anyways from our family to all of you, we hope you have had a great Easter Weekend! And that in the days ahead you feel the very real, and very much alive presence of Jesus close to you!

I have never been a fan of the typical church photo. There is always a bland wall background, however some friends of ours are going to visit someone Jeral knows and they wanted a family picture to show Jeral's friends so the stereo typical church directory photo was taken! Since the kids are growing up so fast I decided to post the most updated family photo we have. However I think a professional one is in order soon! Kate you will be getting a phone call soon!!!!!

I love the look on her face right here. It is as if she has just heard something and is utterly shocked by what was said. Hmmm, this was also taken at church, maybe she was shocked by the sermon!!!!! ;)

We took the kids to the park a week or so ago and Jaris was not to happy about being in the swing. Poor baby boy was also very tired after a great physio session!

This one is for Auntie Jocelyn. She found this cute out fit and got baby Maddy one and Kenzie one so they match! I sure have a very adorable and well dressed little girl!

Jaris eating his lunch yesterday! He sure is one very excited little boy when it comes to food! He is such a great little eater.

So life lately what can I say we are still in the midst of figuring out how to handle all the melt downs that seem to be going on. Kenzie sure is not a fan of mommy taking Jaris anywhere without her. However if she would have realized that yesterday was for shots shoe would have been very happy not to be there!

Last night was the first time that Jaris decided to use the walking toy that we have. Normally he has not shown interest in doing anything other than furniture walking, however yesterday he tried 3 times to walk all on his own. He even got a step or two in before his legs buckled and he plopped to the ground. I love watching him accomplish his milestones. He has also finally figured out what to do when mommy asks for a kiss. The kisses are still big and slobbery, yet it is so fun to watch him connect phrases mommy and daddy say with actions on his part.

Lately our church body has been working through the events that have occurred in the past. In particular a letter of apology has been written and given the the pastors of this community and also former pastors/staff members. The letter is one of repentance for the past sins of the church and one expressing sorrow for the hurt caused. This past Sunday as our pastor was sharing how he recently got to share the letter with the 2 pastors who were on staff during the split 6 years ago, and well I had to get up and go to the nursery where my children were with their dad, because I was starting to cry. There were 3 of us on staff at the time, and I was there too. I got hurt just as much as the guys. Here is the thing. If I would have been a man and not have been hired it would have been because I was not qualified enough, or because I was not the right fit. The plain and ugly truth is it is because I was born a woman. The very way I was put together by my Maker, my God, my Heavenly Father was not good enough. The harsh reality is that who I was as a daughter of God was attacked, and not by God it was attacked by those I was friends with. The reality is at the time I never asked to be called a pastor. I just wanted to share the amazing love Jesus has for ALL of us with kids in our church and our community. I once was a woman whose eyes lit up when I got to talk about the kids and youth I got to spend time hanging out with and it was my job. How great is it to get paid to do what you once loved?! While those left at our church were not the ones who I felt hurt by it does hurt now to be the forgotten one.

Alas that is my issue, one I choose to give the ball of yarn to Jesus for and then let go of the end I could walk away with. Maybe all I needed to do to for my self here was to acknowledge that I got hurt, and that there are still days where it hurts. Not as much for me anymore, more for my daughter who I never want her to grow up feeling the way I have that the way she was created by God is not good enough for others. That some how God made a mistake in gifting her with abilities that only men are allowed to use in church settings. So Kenzie if you ever read this when you are older please know that you are created by God as a beautiful little girl who will one day be amazing woman. And as a little girl who will one day be a grown woman you are good enough! There may be others who try to tell you in all sorts round about ways that you are not and that God would never allow you to do certain things as a woman. Instead of listening to them listen to your heart, and the voice of God telling you He loves you, his daughter. He created you and you are GOOD ENOUGH!!!!! I love you baby girl! And at the same time Jaris my son, you too are created equally as amazing by God, and you too are GOOD ENOUGH! I love you baby boy!

Swimming With the Kids! No pictures!

Jaris had some routine blood work done today,just to ensure his iron levels are where they need to be. Since Jaris was on a low iron formula for the last 9 months or so the dr.'s just wanted to make sure that his iron levels are good. I was not looking forward to having to get this done as the last time this was checked I had to hold Jaris while they dug around in his arm and it completely wrecked me. Luckily today I ran in to a nurse who our family knows and she offered to hold Jaris for me so I was not the one having to hold him down. Thank you Doreen Wedel! So this is the scene. Doreen is holding Jaris on her lap, and another friend who is a lab tech is holding his arm, and the other lab tech took the blood, and they sent me out of the room. I was close by so when the deed was done I could swoop in and snuggle with Jaris. Luckily we were going swimming as a family after to distract him! Now I say luckily for the kids and Jeral, they all look fantastic in their swimming suits. me on the other hand. Oiy! While I have lost 13 of the 50 lbs I gained after having Jaris, I still struggle with how I look at the weight I am at. Actually I don't think I have ever not struggled to some degree even after I had lost 70 lbs. Then though 70 lbs was a lot to be proud of so it was not as in the fore front, and we were still trying to grow our family. The whole adoption and fertility journey was in the fore front back then. Despite my struggle with how I feel about my self weighing as much as I do, I will go swimming with my kids and husband because the joy on Jaris' face as he screeches with delight in the water is so worth it. The way Kenzie splashes while holding on for dear life to me and then by the end of our time there to see her let go and walk away from mommy just a bit is so worth my feeling a little (okay a lot) uncomfortable. A week or so ago I wrote on my facebook status something along these lines. "It is a strange phenomenon how when you love someone you will do something you thought you would never do for them." That comment was in reference to something else that was going on that week, however it applies to how I feel about putting on a bathing suit in public also. I may hate it yet for my kids I will do it. Now pictures of the grand event once a week that is another story. That will not happen until all this weight is gone and then some!!!!!!! Well that is my tidbit for today. I love how bath time give me time to multi-task. I can watch them and sit here with my laptop and blog!

Temper Tantrums, and Life

Some days I find it hard to believe that this peacefully sleeping little girl is also capable of rather long and loud temper tantrums. Yet she is! And on those days I pray for calmness in our house instead of patience because we all know that if we pray for patience things tend to come our way to teach us patience and I want calm serenity instead!!!!!! Yeah I know with two 1 year olds that may be asking for a lot, oh well I am still wanting that!

So we have hit that stage of life - Temper Tantrums!!!!!! Kenzie knows what she wants and when she wants it nothing will stop her from getting it except maybe mommy!!! And when I prevent her from getting the object she is set on or do not do what she wants the crying, throwing herself on the floor, kicking, screaming, stomping all starts! I will be honest here I was hoping I was going to be one of those amazing parents who parented so well that we would not have kids who threw temper tantrums. Alas I am like almost every other normal parent out there, and temper tantrums are a part of the developmental stage my babes are in. We have noticed that on days i have to take Jaris to an appointment Kenzie has more tantrums. And if she wakes up and mommy is gone she walks around the house calling me, and once I get home I pay the price for not taking her with me. I feel so loved that she wants me and only me at times, and yet I also wonder if some of what is going on is how Kenzie is working out for now some of her attachment wounding? Jeral can be gone and it does not phase her the same way. This too shall pass and in the mean time I am doing my best to breathe, through the screaming and hold my little girl close! Jaris had his one year developmental assessment yesterday and he did great. He has come such a far way in such a short time! While we still have some things to work on in strengthening his legs some more, and working on his speech. However that will come. He has a very vocal sister! In the area of problem solving his abilities are beyond that of his age group. So needless to say knowing that helps us to feel a lot better! Jaris likes to focus on one task before moving to the next task. He likes to know that he has it down pat, knows it inside and out before moving on. While we will still see physio from time to time the developmental part of the program is discharging us. Yeah!!!!! And they may have found a type of shoe that will fit Jaris! We are hoping to go try them on tomorrow! His feet are not only wide they are very thick and trying to get good supportive shoes or boots for him is impossible. So roobis, crocks, and sandals it is for now and even then the crocks have to be a size to big for his feet to fit. Well I wanna get back to playing with the kids. So blessings and hope that life is grand for all of you who read this blog!

Jaris Birthday Part 2 and our Oliver trip

Kenzie showing off for everyone! She looked like she had a black eye, and when she realized that is she hammed it up people would pay more attention to her than her brother!

Jaris after mommy took his hand and smashed the cake! He was not to happy about it. He was so gentle with the cake and so careful. I have a feeling that my son is going to grow up to be a gentle giant!

Kenzie getting some snuggles with Uncle Ray!

Jaris carefully taking icing off of his teddy bear cake. My mom made two cakes, and so in the end Jaris got to have one all to himself! Once he was done the cousins and friends dug in with forks!

Yummy, measuring cups! Eating grandma's measuring cup and showing off a bit for the camera!

Kenzie riding the stuffed camel at Grandma and Grandpa's

Sitting all by herself in a big girl chair at A&W eating french fries and drinking out of an empty cup!

Nothing but food matters to me!

Life seems to be going full speed ahead with 2 babes. Last weekend we took a day trip to Oliver to see Jeral's parents. It took the Kids a bit to warm up however once the got all warmed up they had a grand time with G & G Krahn. Our kids are just so full life and it was so fun watching them with their grandparents.

Jaris birthday part 2 happened today! It was so much fun having so many friends and family here! When Jaris woke up from his nap he was not sure what to make of the extra people, and it was so cute watching him size people up. We had pizza, chicken wings, veggies, and fruit! We ordered in the pizza. It was less stressful than trying to cook for everyone, and in true Mennonite style I had way too much food! However I would rather have way to much than not enough. Jaris still is not so sure about opening gifts and so forth, however Kenzie gets it and was such a little helper for her younger brother. It was just so much fun to be surrounded by our family and close friends. They were the ones who walked the journey of fertility issues with us. They are the ones who prayed with us and for us, and now today we got to celebrate with him the answers to our fertility prayers and the answer to our adoption prayers a year after our babes were born. I am one very blessed mommy! And with that this mommy is going to get some sleep, because I am also a tired mommy!

My handsome son! Today I was in Kamloops visiting with a dear friend from Langley, who is pregnant!!!!! I took Kenzie with me and Jaris stayed home with Jeral, well when I got home Jaris was screaming, however mommy knows what my son wants, and that was food. That is all it took and he was smiling and happy again! Well food and mommy! He sure is a cute 1 year old.

I put Kenzie's hair in pig tails today for the first time. It took a bit

to get her to hold still long enough. Trying to get the clips in was a even bigger challenge, and to be honest they did not stay in long. She is growing up so fast. They both are! What I would not give to have time slowed down. To remember to savor every moment. Yet life happens and some days we are so tired that it is enough to just get to the next moment, next hour, to bed time!!!!!! :)

That is all for tonight! I have so many thoughts running through my head and so much I would like to write however not now! Maybe in the next week I will get around to writing about last Sunday and what I shared. We will see!

Jaris' 1st Birthday Part One

At the end of the night Kenzie decided to show us how she can multi-task with three Iphones. She had mine, Auntie Lisa's, and Jackie's. While Jaris tends to bite them, Kenzie has figured out how to push the button and slide the thing over to get into all the apps and so forth. She is one smart cookie!

That is one good looking cup cake! However an even better looking cup cake holder! My niece Jaydn!

Auntie Lisa and Rachel. I would be so bold as to say that Rachel is the favorite cousin. Probably because she spends so much time with us helping out! We are blessed to have her so close by!

Jaris not sure what to do with his cup cake! Normally he would chow down on something like this. I think all the commotion and focus on him by so many threw him off a bit, or maybe he was full from the fabulous dinner Auntie Jodi made!

The pin wheeles have been found. Auntie Jodi was thoughtful enough to get Kenzie her own however she still made off with Jaris' too!

Blowing our the candle on the cupcakes!

The Cupcakes nice decorated by my nieces!

The Birthday Boy with his Uncle Mark! Our kids love their Unlce Mark, maybe that is because he is so much fun! Before the rest of us could get Jaris laughing Uncle Mark had Jaris giggling away when he was a little baby!

My handosme 1 year old!

And his Older yet smaller sister! Acting all silly with

her many faces!

So we had Jaris' first birthday part one on Sunday March 27th (his actual birthday), and part two will be April 9th. The reason for two Birthdays is because a good group of our friends and family were going to be gone on his actual birthday. However Auntie Lisa, Jackson, and Jaydn were here so we wanted to celebrate with them.

So Part One

We woke up on Sunday morning and all got ready for church as I was speaking (I am not a fan of calling it preaching as I have an aversion to that word). And Jaris was not feeling good so he ending up coming up with me for the first little while, which I thought was fitting since the last time I was speaking I was 9 weeks pregnant with him, and had a puke bucket with me. This time on his Birthday I had my son in my arms. I will post more about what I shared about in another post. After church we came home, had left over pizza and sandwich's, and put the babes down for a nap. Then Lisa, Jackson, Jaydn, Rachel, and I went to Vernon to get a few things. I had to get a card. Of all the things to forget, I forgot to get my son a card.

When we got home, Rachel, Jaydn, and Lisa decorated the cupcakes for Jaris' party and I got busy wrapping presents and the woke the babes up to get them ready to go over to Uncle Mark and Aunite Jodi's for dinner and the party. And well Jaris was a very happy boy because his first girl friend Jackie was there! she is only almost 19 years older, so sadly he has had to let her go! Waiting for him would mean waiting a long time. However he has vowed to take out any boy, or man that hurts her!!!!! ;0 Seeing that he has such big muscles and so forth! We had a wonderful Greek dinner made affectionately by Auntie Jodi, and then a bunch of us went for a walk which was nice. Afterwards we sang Jaris Happy Birthday, let him (okay mommy) blowout the candle and then he opened up his gifts. He was not to sure about this part. However Auntie Jodi gets and A for the pin wheels after seeing those nothing else mattered! Auntie Lisa got Jaris food - the best way to his heart is food that is for sure! Then is was time to dig into his cupcake, which he acted a little out of character. Normally he would stuff his face, however he cautiously grabbed at the cup cake and ate it in little chunks. He still made a mess, however here is hoping that for part 2 he really goes to town.

After that Jaris was exhausted so daddy to him home and to sleep he went.

So other than that what else has been going on in the Krahn home? Kenzie got a nasty cough and cold and she is teething her eye teeth. Definitely has made for some very loud and interesting nights. Yet I have also enjoyed many snuggles with her which is so nice. I love cuddle times and so does Kenzie as long as it is just me and her, if I pick her brother up and try to snuggle with him too Kenzie has a bit of a rough time with that as sharing is still something that seems to be a concept far away yet. She is also into everything. I thought we had baby proofed the house pretty good, however she gets into places and I shake my head thinking how the heck did she get into there? She is resource full.

Jaris also got the cold, and a nasty one it is at that. We also shipped our birds and it was a night that was particularly difficult to get the kids down and as I was snuggling Kenzie and she was almost asleep I heard Jaris wake up crying and I thought I would leave him until I had Kenzie asleep and then I would go get him. About 5 minutes later I hear a LOUD THUMP and realize it was Jaris he had toppled out of his crib. I went running down the hall with Kenzie in my arms (she woke up at this point), opened his door to find him behind the door screaming and trying to sit up. Thankfully Auntie Jodi was able to come over and snuggle with Kenzie so I could take Jaris to the ER just to get checked out. He was fine, just some bruising on his knees as that is how he landed. I honestly have not been that scared in a while. Note to self Jaris is taller than most kids his age and if there is anything he can climb on he will!!!! So happy he is climbing and moving around, just not a fan of my son toppling out of his crib.

Last week we had my mom out for a few days. I had wanted to clean out the sun room, and reorganize the things we were actually keeping in there, however it is hard to get things done I find with two little ones tugging at my legs. Up until now it has been storage for boxes and things that we were not sure what to do with. It did not take as long as I thought it would. However I also decided that since a lot of it has been in there since we got married and i have not missed it then I did not need it so to the dump it went! So now we need to decide what we are going to do with the sun room. I may move all my painting stuff down into it, not sure yet! All I know is right now I enjoy looking into it from the kitchen and not seeing a pile of boxes and a huge mess.