Hope

I am amazed at how when we really surreneder something to God that in those moments He gives us back a glimpse of hope. A few enteries back I had basically journalled out how I have come to a place of accepting my barreness as a gift from God. I had surrendered to my Heavenly DADA and His plans for our lives, as much as my heart broke and I hurt, I knew it would hurt more to hold onto something that may never be a part of God's plan for Jeral and I. No joke, that same day Jesus gave back to Jeral and I HOPE. We needed a few things to fall into place for me before we could start the first round of fertility drugs, and the night I blogged my SURRENDER to my Heavenly DADA those thing fell into place.

So now Jeral and I are waiting patiently on God. Yes we have HOPE, not expectations. We have chosen to let go of any expectations. God gave us HOPE that it may be possible to get pregnant, and yet we are not demanding or expecting that God must make sure the sperm and egg(s) connect. Instead we are thankful for the hope our DADA has given to us, and we are trusting Him. The reality is God is God, and if we are to have children of our own we will because God doesn't even need the egg and the sperm to create a life inside of a woman's womb. The other reality is that if we are not to have children of our own all the fertility drugs in the world will not help. So then why am I an fertility drugs? That is a good questions, and I would reply back with a why not be on fertility drugs. The reality is that is does not matter either way God is God!

I bumped into a friend while I was in Abbotsford this last week. Actually I know it was a divine bumping into. She reminded me that God is not going to mess this up, and God is not going to mess around with me or Jeral. Wow, it is so hard to see this and believe this sometimes and yet I KNOW this is true. God didn't give us back the HOPE we have surrendered to Him just so He could dash it away and mess around with us from Heaven. No, our DADA is right here loving us and walking with us through this whole journey, so we can trust Him. We can trust Him through the joys, and through the heartaches and the tears. And I am sure we will have plenty of all of them.

So Jeral and I will wait upon our DADA and we will HOPE, because I believe that without HOPE there is no life. Here is HOPING that in the next few months there will be a blog saying that there will be one more little Krahn's running around our home!