The Journey to Health

So I am a Coke - a - holic. Not cocain, I am talking about CocaCola. I for the past few years of my life have had at least one can of coke a day, if not more sometimes. It is the real thing or so I thought! The truth is I was addicted to the stuff and lets face it addictions to food, alcohol, drugs, sex, coffee, coke etc., are not good for a person.

I was sitting alone at a place called Mill Lake in between my counselling sessions a week ago today, just spending time with my Heavenly DADA. I love getting to sit by a huge weeping willow just resting in the arms of Jesus as I process all the bunk that has been brought up in the session before. As I sat there this last time Jesus brought to my attention that while we have tackled and face a lot of hurtful and painful things in counselling Jesus wanted to talk about my weight issue. I am a big girl and I have turned to food to fill voids and numb pain in my life. There was nothing better to me than a bottle of coke 591ml and a big bag of Ketchup chips. Even the thought of that makes me really want to quit this healthy eating stuff. However no I cannot, I must stay committed to become healthy in all aspects of my life.

I actually decided to brave the scale that we have in our bedroom. I am not sure why we have a scale in there but we do. I think Jeral's parent left it behind. I was pleasantly suprised to see that I weight less than I did when we have to have physicals for insurance purposes. However I knew something was suspiciously wrong because I knew I had to be more than that. It was later last night that my husband informed me the scale was not in punds but in kilograms. Oiy!!!!! So when I did the math I was still the same weight! However I have to realize that is will be a slow process for me to loose weight and to become a healthier person. I am not going to wake up and over night have become a skinny person, and the reality is that skinnhy is not always healthy either. I really feel God calling me to become healthier, and yes in the process I will lose weight. I don't feel called to get fixated on a specific goal weight. There is a huge difference. I'll be honest. I do have a huge fear with this, and that fear is failure. What if I jsut don't have the will power to stay away from all my comfort foods, and what if I can't loose weight etc.? The realization Jesus brought to my attention is that His love for me will not change. He loves me right now at the current weight that I am. If I loose weight and get healthier He is not going to love me more than He does right now. His love is constant and never changes. So failure or not His love remains. I can dig that! And I can rest in that!

Well blessings and I hope you have a great day. I am off to go clean up after my walk with our dog Tracy!