No Going Back

So the last few weeks have taken their toll on both Jeral and I with a homework assignment that I given by my counsellor. Now that I have told Jeral everything, and I mean everything, I thought that life would settle out and things would go back to normal. However I am realizing that thing will never go back to normal. Just as once my dad chose to abuse me life would never be able to go back to the way it was before. Now that Jeral knows the details life will not go back to the way it was before. However as much as there are some really hard days, I really believe that life and our marriage will become better and healthier now that there are no walls and no secrets. So yeah no going back to the way things used to be.

I have also gone through a period of denial and wishing none of what happened was true. This is normal I was reassured, and a phase that I must work through. So working through it according to Jesus means that no I need to put into words the emotions I felt as a child. Okay talk about Jesus taking it one step further than I want to go. Just getting out the plan cold hard facts was difficult enough, and now I am supposed to put words to my feelings. Oiy! I have never been good with emotions, so I know as hard as this is going to be I will find a way to do this and walk through this phase of the journey. This is something I need to do for myself.

So No Going Back! Life will move forward as I choose to move forward. I am grateful to have an amazing husband to move forward with. He is seeking help when he feels he needs it and that is so good. We truly are blessed to have my counsellor and her husband in our lives. As much as we still have the choice to move forward it really is a blessing to have people cheering us on to continue to move forward no matter how hard it gets. However ultimately Jesus is the best cheer leader and He is the one we rely on to walk through this gunk and to not turn back, and He is the greatest Blessing in our lives!