Well I dropped the ball with the update last week and almost forgot to update thins week with all the exciting news about getting to adopt a precious little miracle..
I will keep this short and basically say that little Jaris is kicking a lot these days, and when I say a lot I mean a lot! I am looking forward to the day that Jeral can see and feel our little ones kicks. AS he gets bigger I am experiencing more and more heart burn, so bring on the tums, and bring on the ice cream.
We have our bedroom already to go and the nursery is painted and starting to get set up. Jeral put the crib up last night and some time tonight he is setting up the change table. Eventually we will put a comfy chair in there too, for now the chair stays in our bedroom though.
Life is a little crazy around here as we begin to settle into the idea that we need to get everything ready to go for a little one coming in about two weeks. Life with two little miracles will be interesting and very busy. This mama may go a little crazy some days, and that is all part of the journey!
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Friday, November 27, 2009
Adoption Update
Well I thought I would not be posting any more updates about our journey to Adopt because we thought that door was closed and locked, when really the door was only closed so it could be opened when the time was right! And guess what the time is right!
Here is the story of our journey. To date since we have started the journey to be parents we have had now 3 little ones we came close to adopting into our family, however each time the door got closed. Each time my heart broke, so we deactivated our file. After all I was in my second trimester and we thought that is what we had to do.
About a 5 weeks ago we got an email in regards to a little baby girl born in February of 2009 who was being placed for a private adoption. At first we thought that we would not considered for her so we did not give it a second thought. However after talking with Jeral's sister we realized that because she and the little one growing inside of me were born in different calendar years, we could possibly be picked to adopt her. So we added our profile to the other profiles she was looking at.
So when I got a phone call a week ago from the Agency we are with I thought it was about the February baby. The news was that the birth family was still deciding, and as of now it looked like we were to top pick. They were just concerned about how far away we lived. As I was about to say something about that, the social worker continued to tell me about another Birth Mom (one we had no clue was even looking at us), who had picked us and wanted to meet with us the following week. I almost fell over when she said that. Then I had to sit down when she said that this birth mom is due December 14th, 2009. AHHHHHHHH that is just over three weeks at that time, now just over 2 weeks.
When I got home Jeral and I talked about the pros and cons, and well in the end the conversation shifted from do we really want to do this - two little ones 4 months apart - to well what name will we use if this little one is a boy? How will the family Christmas with my extended family look since we are hosting it? We realized that without actually saying yes our conversation had shifted to a yes. We were already dreaming about bringing this little one home to be our child.
The next morning I called the Agency and they got me the contact numbers the Social worker working with the Birth mom and we agreed to meet the Birth Mom this past Thursday (yesterday). We met an amazingly strong and courageous woman, and we feel so blessed to have gotten to meet with her and to know her life story a little bit more.
Before the meeting I was so nervous. I asked Jeral in a 15 minute time frame what times is it 10 times. Yeah I just wanted to be on time and make a good impression. Jesus was with us regardless of how the meeting went, yet let me tell you it was amazing.
We have been invited to be at the birth if we can make it there in time. The Social worker will call us as soon as the Birth Mom goes into labor and we will jump in the car and drive the hour and a half to get there. Actually today the Social Worker called us just to let us know that after meeting us the Birth Mom has decided all the more that we are the only family she wants for her little one, and she is super excited about the fact that her little one will have a sibling right away.
Good thing we decided to set our room up with the bassinet by my side of the bed, and a nice big comfy rocking chair in the corner, so we are ready for this little one to come home, and for night time feeds. Jeral is busy painting the nursery, however we will not need it for a while. Both our children will sleep in our room until we feel it is time to go to the nursery!
So there you have it, we will have two little ones soon and very soon. One in our arms, and one in my tummy! If some one would have told me a year ago this was going to be how life would be in a year I would have laughed the way Sarah laughed when God told Abraham Sarah was going to have a child. I am not laughing now, instead I am smiling and crying huge tears of JOY.
Here is the story of our journey. To date since we have started the journey to be parents we have had now 3 little ones we came close to adopting into our family, however each time the door got closed. Each time my heart broke, so we deactivated our file. After all I was in my second trimester and we thought that is what we had to do.
About a 5 weeks ago we got an email in regards to a little baby girl born in February of 2009 who was being placed for a private adoption. At first we thought that we would not considered for her so we did not give it a second thought. However after talking with Jeral's sister we realized that because she and the little one growing inside of me were born in different calendar years, we could possibly be picked to adopt her. So we added our profile to the other profiles she was looking at.
So when I got a phone call a week ago from the Agency we are with I thought it was about the February baby. The news was that the birth family was still deciding, and as of now it looked like we were to top pick. They were just concerned about how far away we lived. As I was about to say something about that, the social worker continued to tell me about another Birth Mom (one we had no clue was even looking at us), who had picked us and wanted to meet with us the following week. I almost fell over when she said that. Then I had to sit down when she said that this birth mom is due December 14th, 2009. AHHHHHHHH that is just over three weeks at that time, now just over 2 weeks.
When I got home Jeral and I talked about the pros and cons, and well in the end the conversation shifted from do we really want to do this - two little ones 4 months apart - to well what name will we use if this little one is a boy? How will the family Christmas with my extended family look since we are hosting it? We realized that without actually saying yes our conversation had shifted to a yes. We were already dreaming about bringing this little one home to be our child.
The next morning I called the Agency and they got me the contact numbers the Social worker working with the Birth mom and we agreed to meet the Birth Mom this past Thursday (yesterday). We met an amazingly strong and courageous woman, and we feel so blessed to have gotten to meet with her and to know her life story a little bit more.
Before the meeting I was so nervous. I asked Jeral in a 15 minute time frame what times is it 10 times. Yeah I just wanted to be on time and make a good impression. Jesus was with us regardless of how the meeting went, yet let me tell you it was amazing.
We have been invited to be at the birth if we can make it there in time. The Social worker will call us as soon as the Birth Mom goes into labor and we will jump in the car and drive the hour and a half to get there. Actually today the Social Worker called us just to let us know that after meeting us the Birth Mom has decided all the more that we are the only family she wants for her little one, and she is super excited about the fact that her little one will have a sibling right away.
Good thing we decided to set our room up with the bassinet by my side of the bed, and a nice big comfy rocking chair in the corner, so we are ready for this little one to come home, and for night time feeds. Jeral is busy painting the nursery, however we will not need it for a while. Both our children will sleep in our room until we feel it is time to go to the nursery!
So there you have it, we will have two little ones soon and very soon. One in our arms, and one in my tummy! If some one would have told me a year ago this was going to be how life would be in a year I would have laughed the way Sarah laughed when God told Abraham Sarah was going to have a child. I am not laughing now, instead I am smiling and crying huge tears of JOY.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Guest Room Renos!
Let the stripping begin! The stripping of the wall paper that is. Just after we found out I was pregnant we decided that we needed to redo one of the guest rooms and the following is a pictorial account of us doing this!
Wall paper gone and Jeral has the carpet ripped out, just the blue underlay left!
Cleaning out the closets. There was a pile of stuff in them and we just needed to get rid of the stuff or box up stuff that was not our and give it back to his parents!
The best view in the house! I love this man very much!!!!
The finished product, with new laminate flooring a queen sized bed (I know the size of the room makes it look like a single bed, however it is a queen bed), and a table at the end of the bed. I love the colors we picked for the walls and the trim. We almost picked the same color for the nursery however we decided to go with some thing else!
A Weekend Away
I got the blessing of going to a Retreat Centre this past weekend, and it was so nice to have that time to sit at the feet of Jesus. Funny thing is that when I got home Jeral said he now understands how I feel when he goes away on long motorcycle trips. He was lonely and missed me so much being here at home by himself. Yeah for revelation! He said no more long motor cycle trips, just short one. I wonder if he will remember that when his uncles keep asking him to go on the trip to the States.
This weekend as I read over and over again the story of Jesus healing the Leper (Matthew 8:1-4), and the story of Jesus healing blind Bartimaeus (Mark 10:46-52), I asked Jesus why is it that he healed people differently. I love the idea of being healed by a touch, so why would Jesus not use touch to heal everyone he healed?
Well as I sat reading the stories over and over again. I imagined putting myself in the place of those who were healed, and asked what would I need if I was the leper who came to Jesus or if I was Bartimaeus the blind man. As the leper I would have missed the touch of my friends as I hugged them to greet them, or the familiar touch of my family (man would I ever miss snuggles with Jeral if we would have lived back then). As much as I would need and want physical healing I think I would also want to know that in my state of being "unclean or untouchable" that I was loved enough to be touched, hugged, snuggled with, etc. Jesus did that before he uttered the words "I am willing, be clean," he touched the man. Jesus the son of God, who is God saw what this man needed most and that was to be touched. Healing was the want, the need was to be touched.
As I sat with the story of Bartimaeus and though about what it must have been like to be him. I imagined that through out his whole life as he called out begging to people that more often than not, people would just put money into his cup and slip away, or they would try to quietly get passed him in the hopes that he would not even notice they were there. He did not need the touch that the leper needed. His family and friends would have to touch him to lead him around. What this man needed was to be noticed, and Jesus did just that. Instead of trying to keep walking with the crowds and ignoring Bartimaeus, Jesus stopped and called for Bartimaeus. He talked with Bartimaeus - he let Baritmaeus know that he was worthy of being noticed. Something that probably had not happened for Bartimaeus entire life. His family as much as they loved him, just put him out every day to beg for money to earn his keep and totally strangers as much as some would take pity on him and give him money, I doubt that they ever took the time to stop, notice and talk to Batrimaeus. Jesus took the time to stop, notice, and talk!
So as I sat with Jesus in these stories I realized Jesus come to us and heals us in unique and individual ways, because we are all unique and individual people, whose needs are different. Jesus knows the deepest needs we have. Needs that may be so deep we are unable to see them. Looking back I know I begged Jesus for healing these past three plus years. Healing so I could get pregnant. Instead Jesus say a need for a deeper healing, which did not look like the healing I was asking for. In hindsight I know that I have needed these last three years with Joy, and Marie for reasons that will stay between us. However I am grateful that Jesus saw what I need and chose that path of healing, instead of the one I wanted. Yes I know it is easy for me to say that now because in the end I also got the healing I wanted which I am thankful for.
Well this is long and I need to go clean another room in the house in the hopes that it will stay clean until December 19th when my entire extended family is here!
This weekend as I read over and over again the story of Jesus healing the Leper (Matthew 8:1-4), and the story of Jesus healing blind Bartimaeus (Mark 10:46-52), I asked Jesus why is it that he healed people differently. I love the idea of being healed by a touch, so why would Jesus not use touch to heal everyone he healed?
Well as I sat reading the stories over and over again. I imagined putting myself in the place of those who were healed, and asked what would I need if I was the leper who came to Jesus or if I was Bartimaeus the blind man. As the leper I would have missed the touch of my friends as I hugged them to greet them, or the familiar touch of my family (man would I ever miss snuggles with Jeral if we would have lived back then). As much as I would need and want physical healing I think I would also want to know that in my state of being "unclean or untouchable" that I was loved enough to be touched, hugged, snuggled with, etc. Jesus did that before he uttered the words "I am willing, be clean," he touched the man. Jesus the son of God, who is God saw what this man needed most and that was to be touched. Healing was the want, the need was to be touched.
As I sat with the story of Bartimaeus and though about what it must have been like to be him. I imagined that through out his whole life as he called out begging to people that more often than not, people would just put money into his cup and slip away, or they would try to quietly get passed him in the hopes that he would not even notice they were there. He did not need the touch that the leper needed. His family and friends would have to touch him to lead him around. What this man needed was to be noticed, and Jesus did just that. Instead of trying to keep walking with the crowds and ignoring Bartimaeus, Jesus stopped and called for Bartimaeus. He talked with Bartimaeus - he let Baritmaeus know that he was worthy of being noticed. Something that probably had not happened for Bartimaeus entire life. His family as much as they loved him, just put him out every day to beg for money to earn his keep and totally strangers as much as some would take pity on him and give him money, I doubt that they ever took the time to stop, notice and talk to Batrimaeus. Jesus took the time to stop, notice, and talk!
So as I sat with Jesus in these stories I realized Jesus come to us and heals us in unique and individual ways, because we are all unique and individual people, whose needs are different. Jesus knows the deepest needs we have. Needs that may be so deep we are unable to see them. Looking back I know I begged Jesus for healing these past three plus years. Healing so I could get pregnant. Instead Jesus say a need for a deeper healing, which did not look like the healing I was asking for. In hindsight I know that I have needed these last three years with Joy, and Marie for reasons that will stay between us. However I am grateful that Jesus saw what I need and chose that path of healing, instead of the one I wanted. Yes I know it is easy for me to say that now because in the end I also got the healing I wanted which I am thankful for.
Well this is long and I need to go clean another room in the house in the hopes that it will stay clean until December 19th when my entire extended family is here!
Saturday, November 21, 2009
And a Second Time
Tonight I slipped away from the Silent Retreat that I have been attending, so have one last regular coffee date with my best friend. For the past three and a bit years we have been blessed to see each other every other week. Together we have walked through some very dark and hard times. I have spent time wondering about God's timing, and why the journey down to Abbotsford has to stop now. I know why and that is I am going to have children and driving pregnant on bad roads is not wise. Okay driving on bad roads is not wise period!
Tonight was an evening of crying about the fact that we will miss each other. It is not a good bye in that we have the phone and we will see each other from time to time. It is just not the same. Going from ever other week , to maybe every other month or two. She has walked with me as I have journeyed into the dark and hard places I needed to bring light to in order to heal, and I got the blessing of being a part of her life and the life of her little amazing boy - Josiah. Tonight she blessed me by giving me one of Josiah's first and favorite toys. I remember him and I playing with it at the hospital many times I came to visit. I know Jaris will love playing with it. She also gave me a blanket, and miracle blanket, because just as her son was a miracle - the son I carry is my miracle child!
I wish good byes were not so hard, even if they are not a permanent good bye! Two big good byes in a few days. Oiy! So not fair, and so not fun. Yet the I also know the two amazing journey companions I have said good bye to are not out of my life permanently. Our walking together will just look different, and I will through the tears say thank you to Jesus for the blessing of the amazing times we have had together so far!
Tonight was an evening of crying about the fact that we will miss each other. It is not a good bye in that we have the phone and we will see each other from time to time. It is just not the same. Going from ever other week , to maybe every other month or two. She has walked with me as I have journeyed into the dark and hard places I needed to bring light to in order to heal, and I got the blessing of being a part of her life and the life of her little amazing boy - Josiah. Tonight she blessed me by giving me one of Josiah's first and favorite toys. I remember him and I playing with it at the hospital many times I came to visit. I know Jaris will love playing with it. She also gave me a blanket, and miracle blanket, because just as her son was a miracle - the son I carry is my miracle child!
I wish good byes were not so hard, even if they are not a permanent good bye! Two big good byes in a few days. Oiy! So not fair, and so not fun. Yet the I also know the two amazing journey companions I have said good bye to are not out of my life permanently. Our walking together will just look different, and I will through the tears say thank you to Jesus for the blessing of the amazing times we have had together so far!
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Saying Good Bye
I always knew this day would come, and there was a time that I wanted it to come quickly. I remember being a newly wed and sitting in office/room with her and saying "I have been seeing you now for 10 freaking months it is time for me to be done." Well now just over three years have passed and I have made my last official bi-weekly trip to Abbotsford.
The night before I drove down Jesus prepared me for this, however I really did not want to believe that I would stop making trips a whole month before I had planned too! However I know that Jesus knows what is best and if that is how Jesus was leading me he confirmed it with what Joy said to me.
My life has been blessed by her, and apparently this was not a goodbye we are never seeing each other again since they have made it clear they are coming to meet our amazing little miracle once he is born. Blessed once again by that! I think know that she will not completely disappear out of my life all together will help my heart in transitioning from seeing her ever other week to occasionally. How do you say goodbye to someone who has help to shape and mold the person you have become, and who has positively influenced your relationship with God? Good thing I had my lap top with me so I could read to her the goodbye letter I prepared 2 months ago when we thought we were going to adopt a little boy! And I am proud to say I cried while reading the whole thing.
So now I am off to a 3 and a half day Silent Retreat! I know that Jesus and I have a lot to talk about, and maybe I will get to catch up on some sleep while I am there too!
The night before I drove down Jesus prepared me for this, however I really did not want to believe that I would stop making trips a whole month before I had planned too! However I know that Jesus knows what is best and if that is how Jesus was leading me he confirmed it with what Joy said to me.
My life has been blessed by her, and apparently this was not a goodbye we are never seeing each other again since they have made it clear they are coming to meet our amazing little miracle once he is born. Blessed once again by that! I think know that she will not completely disappear out of my life all together will help my heart in transitioning from seeing her ever other week to occasionally. How do you say goodbye to someone who has help to shape and mold the person you have become, and who has positively influenced your relationship with God? Good thing I had my lap top with me so I could read to her the goodbye letter I prepared 2 months ago when we thought we were going to adopt a little boy! And I am proud to say I cried while reading the whole thing.
So now I am off to a 3 and a half day Silent Retreat! I know that Jesus and I have a lot to talk about, and maybe I will get to catch up on some sleep while I am there too!
Friday, November 13, 2009
Ultrasound
Our little one looking at us! Okay I know that he probably was not meaning to look at us and yet, it is nice to think he was!
Sucking his cute little thumb, or praying that his mommy would be aloud to go to the washroom
soon so he would have more room to do flips and such!
soon so he would have more room to do flips and such!
Just laying there, for brief second, before he started jumping again!
All four of the pictures they gave us! I love looking at these pictures, and getting to listen to his heart beat every day! It is one of the last things I do before I go to bed at night dreaming about my son! He sure is a little cutie pie!!!!!!
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
BOY oh BOY! Week 19
So it is official we are having a boy!!!!!!! My 19 week ultrasound was today and let me tell you having to drink that much water and not get to pee is not what I call fun, however it was so worth it to see our little prince! The last time we saw him was at 7 weeks and he looked more like a seahorse. This time he looked like a little boy with a face, arms, legs, and of course a penis!
During the ultra sound he gave the technician a run for her money because he would not stop moving around! He did flips, and jumping jacks, and just plain old squirmed around!!!!!!! I think we have a future basketball player on our hands!
We are so stoked to be having a little boy, and we don't even need to buy many clothes for him because my sister is giving me all the clothes that my little nephew has out grown. So sweet! Of course though if I see something adorable I will go and buy it, because that is me. We did buy him so very cute little shoes today and a cute little stuffed turtle!
So sometime in early April Jaris Zachery Krahn will be born and we are over the moon with joy and anticipation. That is all for now!
During the ultra sound he gave the technician a run for her money because he would not stop moving around! He did flips, and jumping jacks, and just plain old squirmed around!!!!!!! I think we have a future basketball player on our hands!
We are so stoked to be having a little boy, and we don't even need to buy many clothes for him because my sister is giving me all the clothes that my little nephew has out grown. So sweet! Of course though if I see something adorable I will go and buy it, because that is me. We did buy him so very cute little shoes today and a cute little stuffed turtle!
So sometime in early April Jaris Zachery Krahn will be born and we are over the moon with joy and anticipation. That is all for now!
Monday, November 9, 2009
Well my dear hubby has been sick for the past few days, and his cough seems to be getting worse! We were sleeping in separate rooms to keep me from getting sick, however once his fever broke he came back to our room, however after this last night I am seriously thinking about kicking him out of the room again! His coughing would wake up the best of sleepers, and I am far from being the best of sleepers!!!!!!!!! Oh well seriously I love him very much, and not snuggling and cuddling for the last little while has totally sucked! Needless to say that today he does not get a choice about going to the doctor.
In other news Christmas decorations are well on their way to be all set up. I love decorating especially since everything is color coded! I know I am anal about making sure everything matches! However I love how it looks. When our kids are old enough we will let them set up a tree in the toy room and decorate it however they want to decorate it, as long as mommy still gets to have her three other trees all color coordinated!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)
This is how crazy I get with things matching. When we first found out I was pregnant I crocheted 3 blankets for our baby. Two for a girl and one for a boy. However a few days ago I realized that they would not match with the color that we are painting the nursery, so I went out and bought fabric and hand stitched a baby blanket to match the nursery, and I am in the process of hand sewing another one. I know using my sewing machine would be much quicker however it if I did it that way I would be done quicker and then be looking for other things to keep me occupied. Oiy!!!!!!!!!!! I guess I could just clean the house all the time, however that is no fun.
Tomorrow is my ultrasound, and I am very much looking forward to that! I have been feeling him or her move, however now I am looking forward to seeing him or her looking like a baby. We have a picture from my 7 week ultrasound, however he or she looks like a seahorse in that one. So bring on the star of the baby pictures with this ultra sound!!!!!!
In other news Christmas decorations are well on their way to be all set up. I love decorating especially since everything is color coded! I know I am anal about making sure everything matches! However I love how it looks. When our kids are old enough we will let them set up a tree in the toy room and decorate it however they want to decorate it, as long as mommy still gets to have her three other trees all color coordinated!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)
This is how crazy I get with things matching. When we first found out I was pregnant I crocheted 3 blankets for our baby. Two for a girl and one for a boy. However a few days ago I realized that they would not match with the color that we are painting the nursery, so I went out and bought fabric and hand stitched a baby blanket to match the nursery, and I am in the process of hand sewing another one. I know using my sewing machine would be much quicker however it if I did it that way I would be done quicker and then be looking for other things to keep me occupied. Oiy!!!!!!!!!!! I guess I could just clean the house all the time, however that is no fun.
Tomorrow is my ultrasound, and I am very much looking forward to that! I have been feeling him or her move, however now I am looking forward to seeing him or her looking like a baby. We have a picture from my 7 week ultrasound, however he or she looks like a seahorse in that one. So bring on the star of the baby pictures with this ultra sound!!!!!!
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Week 18
Week 18 - so not too much new going on. I am feeling a little more movement I think, however it could also be gas!!!!! :) The baby is more active in the evening and at night. I am enjoying having the doppler to listen to his or her heart beat whenever I want to. Having this luxury is a blessing and helps put my mind a little bit at rest. I am looking forward to my ultra-sound on Tuesday when we get to see our little one!
My tummy is growing every week! It is interesting and challenging to watch my tummy grow larger when I worked so hard to get it smaller. However I worked so hard so I might be able to to get pregnant some day! Go figure!
Jeral and I went to Abbotsford this past week on Tuesday. We were looking forward to hanging out with Jeral's sister and her family for the evening in Vancouver. We had a great supper and then played a few rounds of dutch blitz. Then we headed into Abbotsford for the night. We stayed at the same hotel we normally stay at when we are there. We were looking forward to a night relaxing evening together, however Jeral got sick so we had a quiet night with lots of orange juice and halls etc. The next day the plan was Jeral was going to come with me to one of my 2 sessions however in the end he came to both. It was good to just talk through some things with someone we both trust and respect. I only have three more trips down there and then I am done with therapy for now. I try not to think about it too much however, it is hard not too!
Now we are home and I get to take care of my baby (hubby), when he lets me. Right now he is out doing chores on the farm. I personally think he needs to be curled up in bed with a book and a cup of tea, or he can sit and watch "A BABY STORY" with me.
That is it for now!
My tummy is growing every week! It is interesting and challenging to watch my tummy grow larger when I worked so hard to get it smaller. However I worked so hard so I might be able to to get pregnant some day! Go figure!
Jeral and I went to Abbotsford this past week on Tuesday. We were looking forward to hanging out with Jeral's sister and her family for the evening in Vancouver. We had a great supper and then played a few rounds of dutch blitz. Then we headed into Abbotsford for the night. We stayed at the same hotel we normally stay at when we are there. We were looking forward to a night relaxing evening together, however Jeral got sick so we had a quiet night with lots of orange juice and halls etc. The next day the plan was Jeral was going to come with me to one of my 2 sessions however in the end he came to both. It was good to just talk through some things with someone we both trust and respect. I only have three more trips down there and then I am done with therapy for now. I try not to think about it too much however, it is hard not too!
Now we are home and I get to take care of my baby (hubby), when he lets me. Right now he is out doing chores on the farm. I personally think he needs to be curled up in bed with a book and a cup of tea, or he can sit and watch "A BABY STORY" with me.
That is it for now!
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