A Different Kind of Day

Well today was the first day in a long time that getting pregnant and becoming a mom was not in the forefront of my mind. It was nice. There was so much else going on.

Jeral came with me to see my therapist today so that we could both practice working on our communication skills. Jeral got to pick the minor issue that we would work through, and well what he thought was a minor issue has some deep emotional roots for me that I have kept hidden. Needless to say that when it was my turn to share my thoughts, feelings, wants, sensory data etc., I almost shut down completely, thus the big issue in our ability to communicate. When things get though I shut down. However this time I took a time out, breathed lots, did some positive self talk and risked being vulnerable. Scary stuff for me. In the end things turned out well. Both of us came to a clear understanding of each other, and Jeral was excited that he got to know me better.

On to the second session - this time I was by myself, and after telling Joy some pretty hard stuff that I processed with Jesus in the last two weeks, Joy and Jesus decided it was time to write my husband a letter detailing stuff from my childhood. AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! What the heck? I am still struggling with this, and Jesus gave me a deadline of next week Friday. Funny that is the same day we can test to see if I am pregnant or not, not that this has anything to do with that. So with all of this going on no wonder I really did not think much about getting pregnant today.

Well it is late and I have a big day tomorrow with starting the letter. Please pray for me because this is going to be tough. Tough for me to write and tough for Jeral to read.