Last Jeral and I got to go out for a nice date. We went to Earls and then the plan was to go see the movie "Express: the Ernie Davis Story" however the movie we wanted to see was not in theaters in Vernon, so we decided to take our time at dinner, and then we came home.
During dinner we talked about lots of stuff. However the big thing that we are talking about these days is whether or not to have the elders/leadership team of our church prayer over us and anoint us with oil. In the past few months we have had 2 people say that they feel we need to take that step. For one couple that was the step took before getting pregnant with their first child. The other person well we do not know him from a hole in the ground.
For me I am torn with this. I am not opposed to talking about our struggle to conceive with our friends, however the thought of having people pray over us scares me. A few months ago when 3 of my close friends came over just to hang out and be with me in the midst of a dark period of the fertility journey. When they asked if they could pray with me, I said that I would prefer that they pray on their own instead of with me because I was afraid of completely melting down.
On top of this I am ambivalent about church. Not about Jesus just about corporate church, and the traditionalism and legalism I see and feel, so then to have our leadership team pray and anoint us with oil for me is also not something I am comfortable with. Do I see myself falling under the spiritual authority of these people. No, as much as thy are wonderful and good people I do not see them as spiritual authorities in my life with the exception of 1 woman who is a dear friend/older sister that I never had.
So where does this leave us. Well, I do have other mentors in my life and we have other close friends that we love and trust and so we are going to ask them to pray with us and for us. This is stretching for me. I am normally one who likes to pray and listen on behalf of others, I am not the one who likes to let others sit and listen on my behalf. This has been mostly out of fear. Therefore we have decided that it is time to stop being afraid of what Gods plan for our future is, especially in regards to children. I am even going to get brave enough to ask my counsellor to pray and listen carefully on this.
Both Jeral and I have been so grateful in the past almost 2 years for your prayers in regards to all of this fertility journey. We do ask that you continue to pray for our hearts, our minds, and our marriage in all of this (don`t worry our marriage is very strong however it never hurts to pray for the marriages of your friends).
Yeah, so that was our conversation last night.
In other news, nothing much is going on. my grandma (the one who is still alive) was in the hospital and now she is home. Jeral and I are heading to Abbotsford this coming week for a night. Short trip and yet we are busy people so short trips seem to be the way we do things lately. That is it I think!
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It's interesting. Mark's Mom has been urging us to do the same thing. I felt that I shouldn't ASK to be prayed for, that if God wanted that to happen, the Elders would approach us. Mark's Mom is going to let us know when the Church will be having a service where this will be included. We will decide then. Blessings, hugs and lots of prayers.
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